


Maybe We Can Heal Together

by Dying_Is_Easy_Living_Is_Harder



Series: I can't do this alone [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, Child Abuse, F/F, Fluff, Jake just wants to protect rich, M/M, Pining, Rich has dark thoughts, and he loves rich's lisp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-08 00:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11070369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dying_Is_Easy_Living_Is_Harder/pseuds/Dying_Is_Easy_Living_Is_Harder
Summary: When Jake heard that Rich set the fire he knew that he needed to save him. Jake did save Rich, but he broke both of his legs in the process. Now that he's had some time to think about it, he realizes that he's totally in love with his best friend.Rich couldn't believe that Jake came back for him. It makes him feel even more guilty. He feels guilty because he is hopelessly in love with his best friend. Maybe, just maybe, now that his SQUIP has gone dark, he could tell Jake how he feels, but navigating the world SQUIP-less was much harder than Rich remembered.





	1. Please Just Tell Me He's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So you don't really need to read the first one for this to make sense, but I mean, I'm not going to tell you not to.  
> So this is just Rich and Jake both waking up at the hospital and their first interaction. Jake manages to pester the shit out of a nurse and convince her to take him to see Rich.  
> (Sorry guys this chapter is unedited but I really just wanted to post it tonight)

Bright, blinding pain. Rich felt like his skin was melting off. He was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness, just barely hovering on the conscious side of the precipice. Something jerks him back just as he starts to let himself drift off, this was what he wanted, right? No voices. 

“RICH” that was Jake’s voice. Jake’s voice that was so full of pain and panic. Rich wanted to call out, to say something, to assure Jake that everything was okay. He wasn’t scared anymore. Suddenly there are arms around him and it hurts. He wants to curl into the solid chest he’s leaning against but it hurts too much to move. There’s a cool breeze on his burning skin. Then something pulling him down as the air whooshes past him. 

They thunk hard against the ground and someone’s screaming. Rich is sure it’s Jake. Sure that it was Jake that rescued him. Sure that Jake hurt himself saving Rich--saving Rich from himself. 

~~~

Rich’s head was pounding. He looked around, everything was blindingly white, then his dad popped up in front of him. 

‘Bastard. You can’t even die right. You couldn’t even do me that one favor.’ His father’s speech is so slurred Rich has trouble understanding him. He disappears and Jake appears in his place. 

‘Why would you do this?! We’re best friends! You can tell me anything!’ Jake looks like he’s crying. 

Rich’s brother is next, ‘you dumbass, I can’t believe you. God, I’m so worried about you.’

The last person to visit him in this weird limbo is his mother. She cradles his face in her hands. “My poor little boy. I am so sorry I left you. But it’s time for you to go back now.” She hugs him tightly before stepping back and disappearing. 

“Mom! Mom wait!” Rich calls desperately, turning in circles looking for someone, anyone. 

The SQUIP laughs maliciously. “Did you really think that was all it would take to get rid of me?”

Before Rich can respond the ground rushes up to greet him. 

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The steady, persistent beeping coming from somewhere on Rich’s left was about to drive him insane. His first priority however was to figure out how to breathe properly again. Once the alarms start going off signaling to the nurses that he was awake his room is swarmed by people in scrubs. They pull the tube that went to his stomach and give him a glass of water. 

They leave him alone after they make sure he was able to breathe normally. Every breath hurt like the fire was scorching his lungs all over again but he was alive.  _ He was alive.  _ The realization makes him laugh gleefully. The laughing launches him into a coughing fit that has the nurses running for his room again. When he tries to move it feels like someone was touching a hot fire poker to his skin. 

He’s the only one in the room right now, but there was another bed next to his. A nurse comes to ask him some questions about being comfortable but he finds that it hurts to respond to her and that his voice was gravelly. He sounds like he’s been a pack-a-day smoker for sixty years. They keep him well supplied with water and gradually his voice starts to return to normal. 

His primary nurse is kind. She changes their routine on the second day he was there and awake. Rather than stand at the foot of his bed she comes and sits in the chair that had been pulled up next to the bed in case any of his family decided to come visit. 

“Rich? Can I ask you something?” Her face is grave and a jolt of fear lances through him. He cautiously nods. “All up and down your back, there are these scars, new ones and older ones, all layered up and down your back. I’ve only ever seen scars like that on people that have electrocuted themselves lots or with very strong currents. And there were some other scars, some of them look self-inflicted, but others don’t. Is there anything you want to talk about with me? I’m here for you, Rich.” Her expression is so open and honest but she wouldn’t believe him about the SQUIP and he wasn’t going to nark on his dad and then be shipped off to foster care.

He shakes his head and she sighs, running her hands down her pant legs as she stands. “Okay. I’m not going to force you to talk, but if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me.” She taps the top of his foot lightly before reaching down for his chart of vitals. 

“Oh, that reminds me, that boy you came in with, he’s awake and asking about you if you’re okay and ready to have visitors yet.” She watches the variety of emotions flit across Rich’s face before putting the chart back and checking his IV. She checks his bandages and lets him know they would replace the salve later in the day. “Just tell me when you’re ready to let people come visit. Okay?” He nods numbly, thinking about the fact that Jake went back into the house  _ because of him _ . That Jake was here  _ because of him _ . That Jake no longer had a house  _ because of him.  _ That Jake was hurt  _ because of him.  _ Rich felt like he was going to be sick. Luckily he wasn’t allowed any real food yet. Just jello and similar things that would be easy on his digestive system. 

~~~

Jake couldn’t feel his legs. He  _ couldn’t feel his legs.  _ He pries his eyes open and jerks upright, only to be greeted by the sight of both of his legs encased in casts. A young nurse came in and introduced herself as Angela. He was struggling to wrap his mind around everything that had happened. 

 

“That was a real brave thing you did, going back to rescue that boy. You probably saved his life.” She says on the second day he was there. She was trying to convince him to speak to anyone. The only thing he had said so far was to ask if Rich was alive. When he didn’t answer Jake decided to stew in silence until someone gave him an answer. This nurse did, if indirectly. 

“H-he’s alive? He made it?” Jake’s face is hopeful.

“He is. The EMS said they had to pry the two of you apart because you were holding on to him so tight.” She’s making small talk as she moves around his bed and room attending to his meds and vital charts. 

“Rich, he’s something else.” Jake smiles to himself. “C-can I go see him?” 

Angela feels bad when she tells Jake he isn’t allowed to be up and moving yet. 

Every time she comes in to check on him, Jake asks a different question about Rich. Normally she either doesn’t know or can’t tell him the answer, but that doesn’t stop him from asking. 

The following day Jake could tell his questions were wearing on her and he felt bad for a moment. But then his thoughts circled back to Rich. He needed to see with his own eyes that Rich was alive. That he made it. 

Later in the evening Angela relents and gets another nurse to help put him in a wheelchair. Jake wanted to try and push himself, sure that he would be going faster than Angela was right now, the only thing that stopped him was the fact that he knew he would hit someone or something. When they  _ finally  _ get to Rich’s room someone else was already there, their voices floating out into the hallway softly, despite the mostly closed door. 

When the door opens and he sees Rich, laying in the hospital bed looking really worse for the war it breaks Jake’s heart. If only he had been faster. He’s jerked out of his guilt by the nurse announcing to Rich and that kid--what was his name--Michael--that Jake was a very loving and devoted boyfriend. Jake wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole. Sadly it doesn’t. He doesn’t even bother to correct him when she calls him “Jacob” instead of “Jake”.

Once he’s close enough to the bed to actually see Rich he feels even worse. As he’s getting ready to apologize Rich beats him to it.

“I’m so so--” he stops part way through and Jake’s thoughts come to a grinding halt. Since when did Rich have a lisp? Since when was Rich’s lisp so adorable? Rich’s blush deepens even more, which he wasn’t sure was humanly possible. Jake was grinning at him like a fool. 

“Rich, I accept your apology, but can you say it again, please?” Jake bites his bottom lip, pleading. His face is soft, but when he glances at Rich’s face he regrets asking. 

“I can’t. Be-because, you’ll make fun of me.” This is the first time Jake has ever heard Rich stutter, and Jake wants to shake himself because he was already head-over-heels for Rich, and Rich was clearly going through some issues. Jake’s heart breaks when he realizes that Rich has been made fun of for his lisp in the past. 

“I would never. Please can you say it again, for me?” He wants to hold Rich’s hand, to provide some form of emotional support, but he doesn’t, worried that he’d overstep his bounds even more. He knew he was taking a risk, asking Rich to say it again for him, but he just selfishly wanted to hear Rich’s lisp again. 

Rich avoids his eyes but apologizes again nonetheless. Jake wants to just grab Rich and protect him from the world, so he does the next best thing. He reaches out and grabs Rich’s hand. Rich looks surprised, but not entirely unhappy so Jake doesn’t pull away. 

Rich takes a deep breath, “What, um...why did I need t-to repeat it if you already forgive me?” Jake notices that he carefully avoids words with ‘s’s in them. His heart breaks a little more for Rich. 

Jake sits for a few seconds, trying to come up with something to respond with, but the longer he thought about it the redder his face got. He pulls his hand away from Rich, burying his face in his hands, trying to soften the blow of what he was about to say. How exactly does one tell their best friend that they think the way they talk is amazing and cute and endearing?

He mumbles it, knowing that Rich wouldn’t be able to understand. When he peers through his fingers Rich was making the cutest face, his eyebrows were furrowed and his nose was scrunched up. Rich asks him to repeat what he said and he tries to find the courage to say it to Rich’s face in a comprehensible fashion, but his nurse comes back into the room and tells him they needed to go, that he had a visitor, and for a moment his heart soared, maybe his parents had come to visit him. 

Angela starts to pull him away but Rich’s arm flies out and latches onto his tightly. Jake can tell how much the effort cost Rich, and so can Angela. She stops moving the wheelchair and looks at Jake to see what he was going to do. 

“W-wait. What did you s-say, Jake?” Rich’s voice is cautious and he stumbles over the word ‘says’ but the fact he said it at all convinces Jake to tell him. He didn’t want to freak Rich out, but he needed him to know that Jake loved his lisp and that he didn’t have to hide it. He turns around and sends a pleading look at Angela. She smiles and rolls her eyes good naturedly, stepping back to let the boys have the illusion of privacy. 

He struggles to propel himself forward to be next to Rich’s head. In the quietest voice he can manage but that he knows Rich will still hear he says “I said, because your lisp is cute.”

Rich jerks his head to look at Jake’s red face as he gestures for Angela to pull him away from the bed. “Wh--y-you c-can’t just l-leave n-now.” Rich was struggling now and Angela puts her hand on his. She convinces him to settle down. Jake offers him one last lopsided grin as he leaves, despite his red face. 


	2. I Can't Just Abandon Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this is the SQUIP-ification of Jake while Rich tries to figure out some parts of his life.  
> (I'm really sorry, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to update this weekend I have some family commitments but I promise I'll try my best. The schedule should be back to normal by monday)  
> Thanks for all of your support so far and I'm glad you guys like it!

Mr Reyes was waiting in Jake’s room when he and Angela got back. Jake’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. Of all the people he thought might’ve been visiting him, Mr Reyes was not one of them. Angela smiles between them, pushing Jake over next to his bed before leaving the room. “Call me if you need anything,” she says, pulling the door mostly closed behind her.

Mr Reyes grins at Jake, but it was hiding something sinister beneath. “Jake, did they give you any painkillers?”

Jake shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably. I mean, I did break both of my legs,” he blurts, pursing his lips and raising his eyebrows. Mr Reyes nods before pulling out a bottle of green liquid.

“You need to drink this.” His voice is commanding as he towers over Jake. Jake’s eyes go wide as he scrambles to back away. Mr Reyes just grabs the arm of his wheelchair and puts the bottle to Jake’s lips. Jake purses his lips as tightly as possible but Mr Reyes pinches his nose so he can’t breathe. “This will be for the better. You won’t feel any pain, you’ll be able to do anything you want.”

Jake didn’t want to open his mouth but black spots were starting to dance across his vision. He opens just one corner of his mouth to be able to breathe. Mr Reyes snarls, trying to find another way. He settles for pushing against Jake’s leg, making him cry out. “Gotcha,” he says triumphantly, dumping a giant mouthful into Jake’s mouth before slapping his hand over it so he can’t spit it out.

“Now swallow.”

Jake shakes his head. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew it was not good. Mr Reyes starts to push down on his leg again and Jake’s eyes go wide.

“Swallow.” Mr Reyes commands, not moving his hand away from Jake’s leg. As much as he doesn’t want to, he really doesn’t want Mr Reyes messing with his legs either. He needed to heal and get the hell out of dodge before the hospital figured out he didn’t have parents around. Jake swallows the liquid and hangs his head when Mr Reyes backs up. He was grinning maliciously. Jake blinks at him for a few moments until a sharp pain shoots up his spine.

“Wh-what did you do to me?” He asks, scrabbling to back away from Mr Reyes.

“I’ve helped you to upgrade.” His grin turns into something more feral and Jake’s eyes go impossibly wider. Then there’s a voice, it’s speaking in his brain. He looks all around the room for someone, a place that the voice could be coming from. “Impressive, isn’t it? Tell me, who does yours look like?”

Jake blinks at him not understanding until a figure flickers into being right before his eyes. It switches between two forms, seemingly trying to decide which to take. It eventually settles on the more feminine one. Once the form solidifies Jake’s eyes go wide. “Chloe? Why’re you here? Where did you come from?”

“Interesting.” Mr Reyes says, looking at Jake intently.

_‘I’m not really here Jake. I’m your SQUIP. I appear to you as someone you care about so you’ll listen to me. Now we need to talk about your giantass crush on Rich. What’re we going to do about that?’_ She’s grinning at him, teasing him just like the real Chloe would. But then Mr Reyes jerks slightly and Chloe’s--the SQUIP’s--face changes. It closes off and looks less like Chloe and more like someone vicious wearing her face.

Suddenly Jake’s up and moving. Mr Reyes throws clothes at him. Jake’s arm reaches up and snatches them out of the air.

“Get dressed, we’ve gotta go.” He steps outside of the room to wait and Jake starts to change.

“W-wait a second. How’re you doing that? I’m not trying to move. I’m actively trying not to move.” Jake is fighting the invader that has taken over his brain.

The SQUIP laughs and it’s a brittle thing that does nothing to hide their contempt for Jake and his questions. It finishes forcing him to dress and makes him walk to the door. He isn’t sure if they plan to just walk out of here, but he doesn’t think they’ll just let him. Mr Reyes is waiting outside of his door. He holds out a hand to signal that Jake needed to wait.

It’s not longer than a few seconds when an alarm sounds down the hallway, away from the elevators, that sends all the nurses running in that direction. He looks down the hall caught off guard but Mr Reyes just hauls him towards the elevator bay.

~~~

Rich was having a remarkably good day despite the fact he was in the hospital. He’d had two visitors, one who gave him the help he needed to get rid of his SQUIP for good, and the other was Jake. However his pain meds were starting to wear off slightly and his SQUIP was starting to come back.

_‘Did you really think you’d be rid of me that easily?’_ Rich’s SQUIP was standing at the end of his bed, sneering at him. Panic curls low in Rich’s belly. This is not what he needed right now. This is really not what he needed. _‘Wouldn’t you like to go for a walk Rich? And get rid of all those gross bandages. You don’t need them,’_ his SQUIP gestures to the door, waiting to see what Rich would do. The small amount of pain meds still in his system kept the SQUIP from being able to control his body, thankfully. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the Mountain Dew Red.

_‘I wouldn’t…’_ his SQUIP warns. Rich glares back at him, unimpressed. He had something to fight for now. Jake liked the _real_ Rich. That gave Rich just enough hope to fight for himself. He takes a deep breath before putting as much momentum as possible behind throwing himself towards the Mountain Dew Red. As soon as his upper body left the mattress, alarms started going off. He grabbed the bottle and a few seconds later he hit the ground. The half a second before he did, it felt like Jake was carrying him and jumping off the house all over again. He could almost smell the smoke, feel it burning his lungs.

When he hits the ground he’s already crying, but the impact of the cold tile on his burning skin just makes him cry harder. Nurses swarm the room, clucking at him for launching himself off the bed. His nurse comes in. She looks concerned at Rich’s panicked look when one of the other nurses tries to take the bottle of soda from him.

“Can you guys give us a minute please?” She asks, smiling gratefully when the other nurses clear out of the room. She pulls up the chair that Jake had moved when he was here. “Rich, you know we’re here to help you, right?” She sets her elbows on her knees and steeples her fingers underneath her chin.

“I know that…” he says cautiously, not sure where this is going. He was still clutching the bottle of Mountain Dew Red tightly, like it was his lifeline, which, in a way, it was.

“Then can you tell me what’s going on?” She looks like she just wants to help, but Rich can’t be sure of that, not really, not after they filled him up with pain meds. He might just be seeing what he wants to see, not what’s actually there.

“You want the truth?” He raises his brows at her and she looks at him quizzically.

“...Yes…?”

“My freshman year I was suicidal and then my brother found this guy who sold these little ingestible supercomputers that you swallow and then it implants in your brain and tells you how to be a more likeable human. Now mine is driving me insane.” He finishes the strange, short story with a bitter smile. The nurse blinks at him. She swallows and nods slowly.

“Okay. And that’s what the soda is for? To stop the...supercomputer...from making you crazy?” The look she was giving him was making him very uncomfortable.

“...kind of. Listen, I’m not crazy. If you don’t believe me, go to the back of the payless at the mall and ask the sullen stock boy about a SQUIP.” Rich starts to cross his arms but frowns when it pulls painfully. She sighs.

“Do you have the number of a parent I could call?” She stands to look at his information sheet. Rich laughs and it turns back into a coughing fit.

“Fu--I mean no ma’am. But you can call my older brother, James.” Rich rattles off the number when the nurse indicates that she was ready. He hopes that his brother would forgive him and understand why he couldn’t have them call his father.

She nods and looks at RIch’s bandages that had started to slip after his brief meet-and-greet with the floor. “After we call your brother I’ll grab a couple of the other nurses and we’ll redress and rebandage your burns.” She taps the top of his foot lightly and leaves the room. Rich crosses his fingers that James will come to his rescue again.

Rich isn’t sure how long he sat there, the TV remote was out of his reach and he didn’t want to bother the nurse again. He felt bad enough that he couldn’t remember her name. He had just started to doze when she came back.

“Your brother is on his way. He sounded glad that we called and told him what was happening. It also seemed like--” She never ended up telling Rich what it seemed like because someone came running into the room and made a few quick gestures that made his nurse run from the room. Rich dozed off despite the excitement occurring in the hallway outside of his room.


	3. Today's the Day!...Except Maybe It Isn't...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!   
> Sorry I've been gone for so long, but I'm back now and I should be here to stay now.   
> This chapter we meet Rich's brother, who I've named James.   
> Let me know what you think and thanks for all your kudos and kind comments!

Someone shook him awake, calling his name frantically. His eyes fly open and he goes to sit up before sucking in a painful breath. 

A nurse was standing over him, obviously trying to cover her fear. “Richard, have you seen that young man, Jacob? He was visiting you earlier. He has since left the hospital with a man. The man has brown and grey hair, he’s medium height. He’s a little chubby. Do you know him?” 

Rich furrows his eyebrows, thinking about who would come and take Jake from the hospital. “Do you have a picture of this guy?” 

The nurse nods and leaves the room. Rich sighs, feeling helpless. His phone was destroyed in the fire so he couldn’t even text Jake and see what was happening. The room phone was out of his reach. He looks around for something he could use to pull it closer but the only thing closer than the phone was the bottle of Mountain Dew Red that was also out of his reach. He huffs and throws his head back on the pillow. He cautiously starts to raise his arm and winces. Getting the phone himself wasn’t an option. 

Just as he was debating calling a nurse, the nurse from earlier comes in, holding a piece of paper. She approaches the bed, holding the picture out for Rich to see. He looks at her alarmed when he sees who the grainy picture was of.

“That’s our drama teacher, Mr Reyes. You said he was here to visit Jake?” Rich’s eyes dart to the phone again. The nurse nods and follows his gaze. 

“Would you like the phone?” She’s already moving as she asks, picking up the heavy base and handset, setting them next to Rich on the bed. “So you said the drama teacher? Why would he have come for Jake?” 

“What day is it again?” Rich lost track of time when he was unconscious after the fire.

She smiles at him, “It’s Friday.” Then it dawns on him, the play. The SQUIPs in his locker. Why Mr Reyes would’ve come to the hospital to retrieve Jake but not Rich. “Does that mean something to you?”

“Uh huh. The school play is tonight and Jake had a really important job.” He answers distractedly. She sees Rich painstakingly reach for the phone and takes that as her queue to leave. Rich dials his brother’s number and kicks himself for not bothering to memorize anyone else’s. 

“Uh, hello?” His brother asks, rather than greets. 

“Hi James. The nurse, she said she called you, and that you were coming and I really appreciate it and could you do me a favor?” Rich says in one breath. The line is silent for a moment.

“Who is this?” James asks, confused. Rich smacks the phone on his forehead.

“Right, sorry, it’s Rich.” 

James laughs on the other end of the phone, “oh, hey man, I didn’t recognize your voice. What do you need?” It sounds like he’s driving based on the clicking Rich could hear in the background.

“There should be this notebook on my desk, can you bring it to me? I destroyed my phone and I need Jake’s phone number he’s MIA.” Rich cradles his phone between his shoulder and his ear, wincing when the phone rubs his shoulder. He bites his fingernails, anxious to hear James’ response. 

“Yeah sure. I can do that. I’m home, then I’ll be right there.” He hangs up, not giving Rich the chance to reply. Rich just sits and chews on his fingernails, not sure what else to do. A nurse comes in and asks again about Jake, but Rich just gives her the same answer, no he didn’t know where Jake was, yes he knows the man he left with, the man is their drama teacher, yes he thinks they’re going to school, yes he thinks it’s because of the play. 

James’ arrival ends the inquisition as he swaggers over to the chair and flops down. Rich grins at him, “Hey man, how’s it going?” 

James raises an eyebrow at him, “better than you I suppose.” He tosses the notebook onto the bed next to the phone. Rich snatches it up and starts leafing through the pages, Jake’s number was in here somewhere. He eventually gives up looking through the pages one at a time and grabs the two end flaps of the book, turning it over to shake all the loose pieces of paper out. A small scrap of looseleaf paper flutters out and Rich abandons the notebook in favor of snatching it up. 

Jake’s messy handwriting listed his name and phone number with a grinning face after it. Rich smiles while he picks up the phone and dials. 

~~~

Jake jumps when his phone rings, but his SQUIP keeps him from moving. He grabs his phone and doesn’t recognize the number. With a shrug he picks up. “Jake?” A tentative voice asks on the other end. 

“Uh, speaking. Who is this?” He furrows his brows and leans against the wall, waiting for his queue to go onstage.

“R-Rich. You just l-left the hospital. I’m really--I mean everyone is really worried. Is everything okay?” He hears snickering on the other end and then a different voice lets out an exclamation of pain, shortly followed by Rich making a similar noise. Jake stands up straight.

“Rich? Are you okay? Talk to me? What’s happening?” He’s already headed for the door, giving his SQUIP the finger as they tell him to stay put. No one was keeping him here if Rich needed him. 

“I-I’m fine. J-James is ju--” 

There’s shuffling on the other end and then Rich cries out in pain, shortly following that with an indignant “Hey!” 

“Hi Jake, it’s James, what my hopeless brother was trying to say earlier, is that he’s worried about you, because he’s hopelessly in love with you and he wants to make sure that you’re okay otherwise he might just try and get up and come to school to see for himself.” 

More shuffling before Rich’s voice comes through the receiver, “you can disregard everything he just said he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Rich laughs nervously on the other end of the line. “L-listen, e-everyone is worried about where you went. B-but o-obviously you’re f-fine so I’m just going t-to go.” He hangs up before Jake can say anything in response. 

Jake calls the number back and a helpful receptionist connects him to Rich’s room, but the phone just rings and rings with no answer. He bangs his head against the wall once before his SQUIP can stop him. Then his feet are moving and he’s just along for the ride. He’s on stage, saying his lines, but he’s not the one controlling his body. It was horrible. His feet carry him back off stage and his body stops pretending to need the crutches he had been toting around all evening. 

When he walks into one of the backstage rooms he comes across Jeremy and Michael. Michael was straddling Jeremy, holding him down and Jake wanted to cover his eyes and run from the room screaming, but his SQUIP wouldn’t let him. Michael asks him something, and he hears his voice answer, but he was too busy trying to take control of his body back to pay too much attention. 

Then he was right next to them, pouring out a red soda onto the ground. The two boys look at him like he’s just kicked their puppy. Chloe and Brooke come into the room a moment later and Jake goes back to not paying any attention to what was happening around him in favor of fighting for his body. Different voices echo around his head as he fights for control of his body back. He has no idea how Rich was able to do this for three years. 

He gains control of his body back before everything goes dark.

~~~

He wakes up in the hospital and excruciating pain in his legs is the first thing he notices. A quick glance at his phone on the nightstand tells him that it’s late saturday morning. A wheelchair is parked next to his bed. After thinking about it for a moment Jake swings his legs over the side of the bed and tries to maneuver himself into the wheelchair. As soon as part of his weight is shifted to the chair alarms go off and two nurses rush into his room. 

One stands in the door and crosses her arms while the other one comes to help him. “And just where do you think you’re going?” 

Jake ignores her, trying to remember how to move the wheelchair on his own, “what’s with all the bells and whistles?” he asks, crossing his arms to mirror her stance as much as he could while sitting down. The nurse behind him notices and snickers softly. 

“You’re a flight risk.” The nurse in the door answers crossly.

Jake scoffs at her. “Listen, I’ve got two broken legs, I’m not flying anywhere. I just want to visit my best friend. He’s right down the hall. Rich Goranski?” He starts to move forward and the nurse puts her foot out to stop him.

“Having two broken legs didn’t stop you before. Why haven’t your parents been in?” She narrows her eyes, a suspicious tone to her voice. 

“They’re busy, maybe they didn’t tell you, but they’re currently in the middle of a very important business trip and they can’t leave no matter what. So if you’ll excuse me I need to talk to Rich, like five minutes ago.” He starts to move forward again, and this time she moves out of his way, telling the other nurse to keep an eye on him. He rolls his eyes as he makes his way back to Rich’s room. 

Rich was sleeping when he gets there and he hesitates in the doorway. A head of shaggy brown hair just visible over the top of the visitor’s chair makes him rethink his plan to come down here and tell Rich about his feelings. The nurse behind him gives his chair a soft shove that propels him close enough to the bed to get James’ attention. He turns to face Jake, a questioning look on his face. 

“And you are?” James asks, raising a brow at him.

“Jake.” He holds out his hand awkwardly, wanting to make a good impression. Even though Rich wasn’t as close with his brother anymore, he still looked up to him so Jake needed James to like him. 

“That explains why there were pictures of you and Rich all over his room.” James nods knowingly, getting up to shake Jake’s hand. “Oh, I’m James.” He says belatedly. 

“I figured,” Jake laughs under his breath, moving slightly closer when James goes back to the chair next to the bed. 

James steeples his fingers under his chin and leans his elbows on his knees. “So tell me, Jake, what exactly are your intentions with my baby brother? I may not be around as much anymore, but as older brother, it is still my job to protect him.” His eyes are narrowed as he looks at Jake appraisingly. 

“I, uh, I’d rather be having this conversation with Rich first.” Jake rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Don’t care.” James sounds bored. “I need to know.” He’s inspecting his nails, obviously waiting on Jake’s reply. 

“I, um, I--” he has trouble finally saying the words he’d been mulling over for weeks now. James makes a ‘hurry up’ motion at him. “I’d like to be his boyfriend, if he’ll have me. I’m crazy about him.”

James laughs and Jake shoots a nervous glance at Rich, making sure he was still asleep. He claps Jake on the shoulder as he goes to leave the room. “Good. Now tell him that.” 

Jake moves up closer to Rich’s head. He touches Rich’s hand softly, surprised when Rich just grabs his hand and starts to roll over before the pain wakes him up. When his eyes open to see Jake grinning at him, he jerks his hand away. Jake’s face falls slightly and Rich internally berates himself, for what, he’s not sure, but he made Jake upset. 

“You look like shit,” Jake says after a pregnant pause. James strides into the room and smacks him on the back of the head before rubbing his forehead, distressed. 

“Jesus Rich. You said this guy knew how to flirt.” James mutters, walking out of the room to eavesdrop outside the door once again. 

Rich looks between James and Jake, caught off guard. “Are you trying to flirt with me?” He asks, looking at Jake with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Jake looks down at his lap and mumbles, “maybe.” 

Rich grins widely, grabbing Jake’s hand that was still resting on the bed. “Let me show you how to flirt Jake.” He pulls on Jake’s hand, silently asking him to come closer. Jake blushes darkly but comes close enough to rest his arms on Rich’s bed. Rich’s grin changes to something more sly as he bites his lip. “So, do you come here often?” He dissolves into giggles as Jake blinks at him a few times before bursting out into laughter.

“That was horrible. What about, your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?” Jake quirks an adorable half smile at Rich. 

Rich rolls his eyes good naturedly. “That was cute, but you’re way cuter when you’re just being yourself,” he gives Jake’s hand a quick squeeze. Jake blushes darkly. 

“Um, Rich, I have something to--”

Jake snaps his mouth shut when the kid in the red hoodie that always follows Jeremy around bursts into the room. He turns towards Rich and waves before continuing to the other side of the room. Jake looks between the two of them questioningly before shrugging and getting comfortable in his wheelchair, not planning on going anywhere for a while. 


	4. Just Leave Him Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh okay so this chapter features protective Rich and protective Jake and I hope you guys like it!  
> Thanks for your comments and kudos, they give me life.  
> Please let me know what you think of the latest installment

Rich and Jake had been sitting and talking for hours when there was a lapse in conversation and Jake realized that since Michael had sequestered himself off on the other side of the room, he hadn’t heard any voices. He looks at Rich questioningly.

“Jeremy is over there, but he’s been out cold since they brought him in. Michael sits over there and reads or plays video games, he said he doesn’t want Jeremy to be alone when he wakes up in case he had been having a several day long nightmare.” Rich looks at the curtain longingly. “I wish I had someone that loved me that much,” he sighs wistfully and Jake wants to shout ‘I DO!’ but instead he keeps his mouth shut, choosing to just nod along. 

“Me too. My parents can’t be bothered, what with them, well, you know.” He shrugs, staring at the wall. Rich squeezes his hand again and Jake nearly jumps, having forgotten that he and Rich were holding hands. It felt so normal that he didn’t feel the need to think about it all the time. Rich had just opened his mouth to respond when the door is thrown against the wall and the irate nurse from earlier was standing in the door. The nurse that had followed Jake to Rich’s room was standing behind her, gloating. 

“See, I told you he would still be here. I have a job, in case you’ve forgotten. And I need to actually do it. So if you’ll excuse me.” She waves at the two boys over the other nurse’s shoulder before walking off. The remaining nurse glared at them for a moment before turning on her heel and  walking away. 

James poked his head into the room a moment later, an amused look on his face. “Damn, that surly nurse has it out for you. Why’d she need to charge down here and make sure that’s where you were?” He leans against the doorframe, looking between the two boys for an explanation.

Rich looks at Jake, not sure what the answer was. 

“I’m a ‘flight risk’ so I’m not supposed to leave my room, but I didn’t really give them a choice, I told them I was coming here anyways.” Jake shrugs in an attempt to play it off as something totally normal, and for him, it was. But Rich didn’t see it that way. He hadn’t really ever had someone fight for  _ him.  _ The SQUIP-less him at least. 

“How the fuck are you a flight risk? You’ve got two broken legs?” James snorts, pushing off the doorframe to walk farther into the room.

Jake twists around to face him, “I know, right?! That’s exactly what I said!” 

Rich snorts at the two of them before slyly trying to itch his arm. He wasn’t as sly as he thought however, because James immediately calls out “Knock it off, Dick.” 

Jake laughs and motions for James to come sit with them. He does, noticing Jake and Rich’s linked hands, but chooses not to comment, for which both boys are extremely grateful. “So Jake, tell me, why exactly are you a flight risk?” He props his feet on the bed next to Rich, grinning when he notices his younger brother silently encouraging the other boy. 

Jake scratches the back of his neck with his free hand, “it’s kind of a weird story…” he wrinkles his nose and looks to Rich for help.

“He knows about the SQUIPs,” Rich says softly, not taking his eyes off Jake. 

Jake bites his lip and takes a deep breath before continuing, “so the drama teacher came by and forced me to drink this weird green shit that tasted vaguely like Mountain Dew and turns out it had one of those dumb supercomputer things in it that made me run out of here like a bat out of hell and to school to participate in the school play.” He ends the story abruptly, not wanting to tell them about passing out and dreaming that Rich was screaming at him. 

James nods awkwardly, sensing the change in the mood of the room. Rich squeezes Jake’s hand and looks to James, “tell us a story?” 

James grins widely, launching into a story about an assassin on the run from the law. Jake falls asleep leaning on Rich’s bed, still gripping Rich’s hand tightly. Rich notices and tries to pull his hand loose but as soon as he starts to pull his hand away Jake starts to stir. The dark circles underneath Jake’s eyes make Rich give up. James notices that he’s lost both boys’ attention and he trails off. “Rich,” he says softly, careful not to wake Jake. “I’m really sorry I haven’t been around more.” 

Rich half-shrugs, not wanting to move much more than that. “I would’ve jumped the ship way before you did if I had the choice, James.”

“Yeah, but I just left you with that asshole, you had to raise yourself, and him,” he nods to Jake, the guilt he was feeling written plainly across his face.

“Your job was not to raise me. Plus I did a pretty great job on both of us I think,” Rich grins down at Jake before smiling up at his brother. 

“Well I’m back now. And I’ve got an apartment here, so you can come live with me, if you’re interested?” James looks so cautiously hopeful that Rich has to say yes. “I’m really sorry Rich. I didn’t even think about what it would be like for you when I left.” The happy expression is gone, replaced by a much sadder one. 

“James. It doesn’t matter. You had to look out for you. God, you were barely an adult when you left” He sniffs and goes to wipe his face but Jake was still holding his hand in a death grip. 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore Rich. I’m going to get you a new phone,” James is crying too as he hastily makes his way from the room. 

Rich sniffs, trying to quell his tears. He eventually decides that he needs both of his hands to get himself back to the happy, more normal, Rich, that Jake normally saw. As soon as he pulls his hand away Jake sits up, wide awake. He looks at Rich’s face and tries to stand, briefly forgetting about his broken legs in favor of comforting Rich. 

“What happened? Are you okay? Who do I need to kill?” Jake reaches over and pushes Rich’s hands out of the way, checking his face--and the rest of him--for new injuries. Once he decides that someone probably hadn’t hurt Rich he looks around the room in an accusatory fashion. 

Rich laughs dryly through his tears, trying not to focus on Jake’s hands on his face. “My knight in shining armor,” he smiles sadly at Jake. “You don’t need to do anything, James and I were just talking.” 

Jake raises an eyebrow at him, “I don’t care if he’s your brother or not. If he hurt you, he’s a dead man.” The seriousness in Jake’s face takes Rich aback. He had no idea that Jake cared this much.

“Nah, he was apologizing over something I’d forgiven him for a long time ago, and you know me, if someone else starts crying then I’ve got to start crying too,” he laughs through the tears that were still falling. Jake was sweeping them away as fast as they could appear and it was making Rich’s heart feel like it was running away with him. 

Jake looks at him sadly, “Rich, you know what I realized? I don’t really know  _ you…  _ But if you’d give me the chance, I’d really like to.” 

Rich looks at him, caught off guard. He swallows roughly. “I would love that more than anything else in the world,” He answers honestly, his voice hoarse. Jake’s smile makes the room a million times brighter from where Rich is sitting. 

“What’s your favorite color?” Jake asks, pulling his hands back to settle his hand next to Rich’s again. Rich tries not to mourn the loss of Jake’s hands on his face as he decides what to answer. 

“Purple.”

“What’s your favorite number?” Jake grins at him, showing that he knows it’s an obscure question but that he doesn’t really care.

“107,” Rich says without a thought. 

Jake blinks at him for a second, “Richard Goranski, you are an anomaly. You have to think about your favorite color, but not your favorite number.” Jake grins at him while Rich shrugs goodnaturedly.

“107 always pops up in my life when good things are about to happen.” He’s only slightly joking, not wanting Jake to think he’s weird. 

“That’s so cool dude!” 

Rich blushes, looking away. Jake’s inquisition continues on for a while. He doesn’t want to stop because Rich just seems so goddamn happy for the first time in forever and hell if he doesn’t deserve it. Jake runs out of questions eventually though, and the boys settle for companionable silence. He starts to nod off again and he sits up hurriedly, apologizing for falling asleep so often. 

“Have you been having nightmares again Jake?” Rich asks, tilting his head to attempt to better see Jake’s face. Without looking up he nods, feeling a blush creep up his neck to his cheeks and ears. “Then it’s okay. If you can sleep better here, then you’re more than welcome. I can sleep while you’re here just as easily as I can sleep when you’re not here.” Rich takes a deep breath before grabbing Jake’s hand again and squeezing. Jake looks at him thankfully and he lets his head drop to rest on his arms that were still resting on Rich’s bed. 

He hadn’t been asleep more than ten minutes when the surly nurse bursts into the room, creating an awful racket. “Shush!” Rich says, trying to move so he could lean over Jake protectively. 

“He’s still here?” She wonders aloud.

“Yes, and he’s sleeping, so if you don’t mind.” Rich gestures to the door, indicating that she should show herself out 

“He can’t just spend all his time here.” She moves to wake him and Rich sits up straight, leveling her with a deadly glare. 

“Touch him and I’ll see to it that you lose your job.” The hand that Jake wasn’t gripping was resting protectively on his back. “He has nightmares, if this helps him sleep, he can stay here as long as he needs to get a decent amount of sleep. Leave. Him. Be.” Rich snarls at her and she backs off. Rich sighs and runs a hand through his hair before laying back on the bed, hissing as his skin stretches. 

His nurse comes in a few moments later. “Rich, you can’t keep stressing it like this, protecting him or not.” She sighs, going about redressing his worst burns. 

“Sorry Lucy, she’s just making his life so much worse than she needs to. His house burnt down and he broke both of his legs, he just needs someone to be kind to him.” The look Rich turns on Jake is anything but platonic sympathy. His face was so full of love that Lucy had to look away. She felt as if she was intruding on an incredibly private moment. On her way out she bumps into James and her face goes red. 

“Hi, I’m James,” Rich’s older brother greets easily, holding his hand out for her to shake. She shakes his hand nervously and pushes the small strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.

“H-hi. I’m Lucy. We spoke on the phone?” She bites her lip as realization dawns on James’ face.

“Ah yes, thank you again for calling me,” he grins at her one more time before approaching Rich’s bed. “He’s still out then, huh?” He goes to ruffle Jake’s hair and Rich’s hand shoots out and stops him.

“Don’t touch him, and as of like fifteen minutes ago, yes.” 

James smiles at how overprotective Rich was of Jake. He tosses a bag onto Rich’s lap that distracts him from Jake momentarily. He pulls the phone out with a grin.

“Thank you so much James.” He tries to set up the phone one handed but the task is made harder by the fact that Jake was holding Rich’s dominant hand. He eventually gives up and sets the phone down next to him, well within reach. “Do you care if I sleep for a while? Being in this hospital has really fucked my sleep schedule.” He rolls his eyes. 

James grins and nods at him in a ‘go ahead’ gesture. “I’ve missed taking naps, I can sit right here and take one while you and your boyfriend take a nap almost together.” 

Rich rolls his eyes again before closing them and drifting off. James waits to make sure he’s really asleep before grabbing his phone and unlocking it. Rich hadn’t had time to set a passcode yet, and for that James was grateful, it would make this a lot harder. He scoots back far enough to get a picture of the two boys, curled around each other as much as they could be with one of them in a wheelchair and the other one not really allowed to move. He goes into the photo program and draws a heart around the two boys before making it the lock and home screen picture. 

An older man comes into the room and heads for the curtained off half. There’s a hushed argument before a kid in a red hoodie gets shoved out. He glares back at the man for a moment, getting ready to say something else before he notice’s James attention. 

James raises a brow at him, “and you are?” 

The kid looks like a deer in the headlights, “M-Michael. Y-you’re Rich’s older brother, r-right?” 

“That’s me.” He grins and motions for Michael to come closer. “Listen, this is Rich’s new phone and he needs some friends right now. I know he’s talked about you, always in conjunction to some Jared kid or something, I don’t know. But can you put your number in here? And maybe that other kid’s number too? For a few months it seemed like him and that kid were pretty close.” He’s holding the phone out to Michael who cautiously approaches and opens the contacts app. As Michael enters his information into a new contact James snaps and makes him jump, “it’s not Jared, it’s Jeremy. Duh. I knew Jared wasn’t right.” He shakes his head and then realizes that Michael was looking at him oddly. He makes a ‘hurry up’ motion and Michael turns his attention back to the phone. He saves his and Jeremy’s information into the phone before beating a hasty retreat from the room. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little angsty pining chapter that (i think) is kinda cute  
> Thanks for all of your lovely comments and kudos  
> Let me know what you think!

A nurse came by late in the evening to tell Jake he had to go back to his own room. He turns to Rich with such fear in his eyes that for a second, Rich’s blood runs cold. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” He asks, struggling to at least sit up. Jake bites his lip and looks between the nurse and Rich. 

“I--yes.” Jake quickly turns from Rich and wheels out of the room. The nurse looks between Rich and the door before shrugging, and following Jake back to his room. As soon as Lucy comes by, checks his bandages, then closes the door to the hall, the curtain to Jeremy’s side of the room gets pulled back, just enough to reveal Michael’s face. 

“Are they gone for the night?” He looks around the room furtively before opening the curtain farther. Rich just nods, despite his action being redundant because of Michael’s inspection. “Can I ask you about some stuff?” He awkwardly scrapes the toe of his sneaker across the floor. Rich nods again, caught slightly off guard. Michael smiles gratefully and pulls his chair over towards Rich’s bed.

“So you had one of those SQUIP things, right?” He chews his fingernails, eyes darting all around the room.

“Yeah, for three years.” Rich wasn’t sure where Michael was going with this, but he wasn’t sure that agreeing to answering questions was the best idea right now.

“And, did it, like, try and alter the people you hung out with and talked to, or even, like, thought about?” Michael turns to look at Jeremy, his eyes fixing on Jeremy’s slender wrists, both unadorned with anything. 

“Yeah, it would like ‘punish’ me if I thought about things it didn’t like, or just flat out block people from my line of sight, and things like that. That’s how I went so long without knowing that I was in love with Jake.” The calmness with which Rich declared his love for Jake was staggering. “Listen man, I know this is about how you feel about Jeremy. And I’ve gotta tell you something, the fact that he could fight off the SQUIP when it was about to punch you is seriously something. Like I couldn’t overcome my SQUIP, ever. 

“And, even before that demon invaded his head, dude was totally gay for you. There’s a reason I wrote BOYFRIENDS on your backpacks.” He pauses for a moment, trying to collect the rest of his thoughts.

“So, sometimes when his SQUIP was off, and Jeremy would, like, flinch away or try to get me to leave him alone, that was still because of the SQUIP,” Michael doesn’t exactly phrase it as a question, but nonetheless Rich nods.

“I’d be willing to bet money on the fact that his back is going to be covered in scars and that his SQUIP punished him everytime he thought about you.” Rich scratches the back of his neck and hisses when it stings. 

“R-really?” Michael looks astounded. “S-so he went through hell for months while I was horrible to him?” His voice was thick with guilt.

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself. Yes, he went through hell, but you did too.” He yawns widely, “if it’s alright with you, I’m going to get some sleep now, Jake’ll be back before dawn so I want to sleep as much as I can before then.” He starts to roll on his side before sighing angrily and beating on his pillow. Michael purses his lips and nods, moving his chair back towards Jeremy’s bed and pulling the curtain closed as he goes. 

~~~

_ Fire. Burning. Flames. The world around him shimmered like a mirage. He was back in Jake’s house. He laid there for a second, knowing that Jake would come save him, any second now. The smoke was getting thick, burning his lungs and eyes. The crackling was loud. Just as Rich resigned himself to death he hears shouting. It was hoarse and quiet, but the voice was familiar. Jake. He lays still for a second, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. It was coming from downstairs, which was where Rich had started the fire.  _

_ He jumps over the banister, bracing for impact and wincing when something tears in his ankle. He pauses for a moment, the shouting was quieter now, more desperate. “JAKE?!” The terror chokes him as he fought the smoke to get to Jake. He’s up against a door now, jiggling the knob that just won’t turn. “Jake, if you can hear me, I need you to unlock the door.” His voice is pleading and suddenly he feels something cold on his face. Tears, he realizes belatedly.  _

_ There wasn’t any noise coming from the other side of the door. Rich backs up and runs at the door, holding his breath as long as he could. He bounces off, but he was greeted with the sound of wood splintering. “Jake, please,” his voice breaks as he crouches against the door.  _

_ “Richie,” Jake’s weak voice floats through the door to him.  _

_ “Jake! I’m coming, back up from the door.” Rich backs up from the door and takes another running start, putting all his pent up feelings into it. The door splinters and his shoulder collapses the material. He feels a new tearing as he jerks his shoulder out of the hole in the door. He reaches through the door and jerks the knob, grinning victoriously when the lock finally gives. He throws the door open, wincing when he sees what bad shape Jake was in. He was lying sprawled on the floor, his chest painfully still. “NO” his emotions choke him as he falls to his knees by Jake’s body. “No. No. No.”  _

_ He grabs Jake’s arm and tries to drag him out but doesn’t get very far with a bad ankle and a bad arm. They collapse in Jake’s living room, Rich struggling to support the extra weight. He’s sobbing now, as much as he can with the lack of oxygen. Then voices are calling his name. They sound panicked. _

Rich is jerked from his nightmare by a hand on his shoulder. It’s shaking him viciously. He curls into a ball instinctively, throwing his hands over his head and crying. 

“Rich?” the tentative voice has him uncurling and looking at Jake. Rich is sobbing at this point and he flings himself at Jake, pain be damned. Jake barely manages to catch him, surprised at his sudden show of affection. Rich’s grip is so tight it’s almost painful but Jake just holds on like his life depends on it, because he knows that right now, Rich’s does. 

Rich sucks in a breath, not ever wanting to let Jake go but the awkward angle was starting to hurt his back. He eventually concedes and moves back to the middle of the bed. He was shaking horribly and on instinct Jake reaches out and catches Rich’s hands in his. 

“Hey,” Jake waits for Rich’s eyes to flick to him, signalling that he heard, “what is it you always tell me when I wake up from a bad one?” He bends to look at Rich’s face and desperately wishes he could just hold Rich in his arms.

Rich takes a shaky breath, “th-that you’re n-not alone. A-and that--that sometimes it--it h-helps to t-talk a-about it.” He’s not shaking as bad now, being able to physically confirm that Jake was alive and well.  _ God, I’m so stupid, I set his fucking house on fire.  _

Jake taps on the inside of his wrist, pulling his attention back. “And you tell me to stay out of my head.” He looks at Rich pointedly. Rich just nods, feeling numb now. Jake notices and motions for him to scoot over. 

Rich obliges and tries not to hover as Jake maneuvers himself from the chair to the bed. Rich scoots forward, trying to stay out of the way as Jake slowly moves his legs. Once it’s clear that Jake was settled Rich cautiously leaned back against his chest, waiting for him to change his mind. Jake doesn’t say anything, instead just wrapping his arms around Rich’s middle securely. 

Rich feels the tension seep out of his muscles as his body catches up with his brain’s realization that Jake was very much alive. “Did you have a nightmare?” Rich asks finally, leaning his head back on Jake’s shoulder to look up at him through his lashes. Jake just shrugs. “So yes… We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” He says it with a wry grin that makes Jake smile down at him. 

“Yes indeed.” Jake sighs deeply and Rich finds his eyes growing heavy again, there was just something about Jake that made him feel safe. Jake finally spies the small black square that was resting on the bed next to them. “Is that your new phone?” He asks, already reaching for it. Rich nods, not opening his eyes until he hears Jake sputter and cough. He looks around the room for something that could’ve caused Jake’s response but the only thing different was that Jake was staring at his phone. Once Jake notices Rich’s attention he lowers the phone to show him the background. Rich turns a deep shade of pink, resolutely avoiding Jake’s face. 

“So I take it, you weren’t the one to do that then?” Jake’s voice had an emotion in it that Rich swore sounded like disappointment. 

“It was probably James. He’s always teasing me.” He half shrugs against Jake’s chest, still not looking up at him.

“Oh, okay. Well I’m putting my phone number in.” He brings the phone in front of Rich so that he could type two handed. He adds a little winking emoticon next to his name before clicking on the picture option and holding the phone back to take a selfie with Rich, who throws his hands up right before he pushes the button.

“Aw please Rich, it’ll be so cute,” Jake pouts and Rich is really glad that he can’t directly see Jake’s face or he’d cave in an instant. “Please,” Jake tried again, hunching over to rest his chin on Rich’s shoulder. “I’ll love you forever.” This is what finally gets to Rich, and Jake knows it too. He grins widely and snaps a picture.

His grin gets impossibly wider when he sees the picture, he’s grinning widely, his eyes focused on Rich. Rich was looking at him out of the corner of his eyes, offering the camera a small smile as he blushed darkly. He saves the picture and then sends a copy to himself. “Okay Rich I’m done messing around now, you can go back to sleep. I’m going to stick around for a while, especially because this is infinitely more comfortable than sleeping in my wheelchair,” he adds the last part with a small chuckle that rumbles through his chest and makes Rich smile.

Rich just nods and closes his eyes, pleased that the safe feeling from being in Jake’s arms doesn’t disappear when he closes his eyes. 

~~~

It wasn’t really Jake’s voice that woke Rich, it was the way his chest rumbled when he tried to whisper. Rich didn’t care enough to pay attention to the conversation, but he could tell that Jake wasn’t exactly happy. He was tense and his grip around Rich’s middle kept getting tighter. He decides to start paying attention, lest this person be a threat to Jake. 

“--an’t keep sneaking out or we’ll chain you to your bed.” It was the angry nurse from the other day.

“Listen, we both have horrible nightmares, if this helps us sleep then it doesn’t really matter. And it’s not like I’m leaving the hospital, hell I’m not even leaving the floor.” Jake sighs like he’s said this a million times and the nurse just isn’t listening. 

“Don’t make me call your parents, young man.” She threatens and Jake tenses up. Rich gently sets his hand on Jake’s leg, enough to let him know that he wasn’t alone, but not enough to arouse the nurses suspicions that he was awake. 

Jake laughs mirthlessly, “I dare you.” 

The nurse groans and James picks that unfortunate moment to waltz into the room. “I’ll take responsibility for the tall one,” he says, struggling to keep the laugh from his voice. 

“You’ll take responsibility for him?” She repeats incredulously.

James just grins at her. “Sure, I mean, he’s legally an adult, but if it makes you feel better I can wag my finger at him sternly.” 

She huffs and throws her hands up in the air before turning on her heel and leaving the room.

“Morning boys,” James greets, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at the two teens. Rich blushes and he squeezes his eyes shut even more. 

“Morning,” Jake replies easily, like this was the most normal thing on the planet. Suddenly it strikes Rich that not only would he not mind if this was normal, but that he aches for this to be normal.

“Sleep well, Dick?” James aims his question at Rich to let him know that he didn’t need to badly pretend to be asleep anymore. 

“Well enough,” he sighs, still not looking at his older brother. 

“Well that’s good because they said I can spring you this afternoon. They’ll send us with a prescription and then you’re good to go. I don’t know about you Jake, but you should talk to your nurse and see what she says about you getting released, but I’d imagine it should be any day now.” He settles himself in the chair and props his feet in Jake’s wheelchair. 

The curtain to Jeremy’s half of the room was pulled back, evidence that Michael had been here this morning but that he’d left, presumably in search of food. James looks between the two boys. “If you want to unstack yourselves I’ll go get breakfast, I imagine you wouldn’t particularly want to eat like that, especially because it would most likely end up with food in your hair, Rich,” His brother grins at them again before leaving the room and walking determinedly. 

Rich looks up at Jake before scooting forward so he could move back to his wheelchair. “Sorry dude, I love you, but I love food more.” He offers Jake an unapologetic shrug and Jake just laughs. 

“That’s fine, I’ve resigned myself to being your second love. But I should probably go find my nurse to see when I’m leaving so I’ll be back later, hopefully before your brother gets back with the food.” On an impulse he leans in and kisses Rich on the cheek. 

Rich is struck speechless and he just blinks at Jake, blushing darkly, again. He  _ really  _ needed to tell Jake about his feelings. He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Jeremy chanting ‘ow’ from next door. He finally notices that he’s not alone and he looks at Rich blankly, obviously trying to get his eyes to focus. 

He lets Jeremy figure things out before mentioning the almost crippling loss of the SQUIP. For a while it felt like he had to relearn the world--sometimes it still felt like that. Jake made it all so much easier. It was strange to be awake and alone--well aside from Jeremy--because since he’d been at the hospital and awake someone had almost always been in the room with him. 

Michael runs into the room a moment later, looking ridiculously pleased to see that Jeremy was awake. Rich realizes with a start that he wasn’t jealous of the relationship Michael and Jeremy had anymore. He had Jake, sweet, perfect, caring, Jake. Jeremy’s dad bursts into the room a moment later and that’s when the envy kicks in. Rich would give almost anything to have his father care that much about him. 

He was half heartedly listening to their conversation when he hears Jeremy mention that he thought Christine liked Jake. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t compete with Christine, she was sweet and perfect and caring just like Jake. Rich was short and weird and scared and he had this horrible lisp and now he’s glad that he didn’t say anything to Jake, that would’ve been horribly awkward. 

Now, he didn’t really want Jake to come back. He got his hopes up for nothing. He thought for a brief second that things could be perfect, except apparently, not for him. Jeremy had it all, the hot boyfriend, the caring dad, people who loved and cared about him. What did Rich have? He had his brother, sure, but there was no telling how long James would actually stick around. He thought he had Jake, but apparently not. That’s okay though, because Christine will be so much better for him, way less fucked up than Rich was anyhow. 

Jeremy’s father and Michael leave the room and Jeremy turns his back to Rich to get dressed. Rich can’t help himself when he sees Jeremy’s back, he has to say something. Jeremy’s back looked almost worse than his did. Michael comes rushing back into the room, right to Jeremy’s side and Rich’s heart hurts. 

He wants that so badly for himself, but he couldn’t do that to Jake. Jake deserved someone so much better--so much more worthy than he was. Michael and Jeremy leave and Rich is alone again. He hates times like this where he just sits and he can’t seem to pull himself out of his own head. Jake rolls into the room a moment later, his face overjoyed until he catches sight of Rich’s. This leads to Rich internally berating himself again. Jake immediately notices what’s going on and wastes no time in crossing the short distance to grab Rich’s hands. 

“Get out of your head Rich. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true.” He wills Rich to understand, to know what he’s saying without really saying it. 

James comes back into the room, silencing Rich’s retort. He sets a tray with a large stack of pancakes on it between the boys. Rich inhales his first three pancakes and only slows down once he gets to the fourth one. Jake laughs and enjoys his breakfast at a much more leisurely pace. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Jake looks to James, his face nervous, “the nurse said I could go home this afternoon, so if you can take me I could go home…” he trails off when he remembers that he doesn’t really have one. 

“You’re coming home with us,” James looks at Jake like he’s the dumbest idiot on the planet. 

Jake looks at Rich and realizes that Rich  _ was _ his home. He  _ needed  _ to tell Rich about his feelings, and soon, before someone else realizes how amazing he is and they sweep him away. 


	6. Life Is Never That Simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Just a warning IN THIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT ONE THERE WILL BE SOME PRETTY GRAPHIC ABUSE because we meet Rich's dad and he's an abusive asshole (that will get what's coming to him)   
> And you're going to hate me bc this is a cliff hanger and I'm not sure I'll be able to update tomorrow.   
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! Y'all are making my day's just the best (I'm printing my favorites off and posting them on my wall)  
> Please let me know what you think!

Rich was released from the hospital shortly after Jeremy, with strict instructions to move as little as possible in the next few weeks. While his brother signed all the appropriate paperwork, Rich went in search of Jake. He asked one of the nurses at the desk where he could find Jake. She just blinked at him until he used Jake’s full name. She gave him a room number before hurrying off. 

He cautiously peers around the edge of the door, knocking as he pushes it open. Jake was sitting in his wheelchair, staring down at his hands. A memory flashes behind Rich’s eyes. A limp body, blood everywhere, crying, screaming, shaking. Without thinking about it he rushes to Jake’s side. 

“Jake,” the raw terror in his voice shocked them both. Rich was on his knees at the side of Jake’s wheelchair. Jake turns his head to look at him. There were tear tracks down his cheeks, but he looked more concerned about Rich than anything at the moment. Jake reaches out and cradles Rich’s face in his hands.

“What…?” He sweeps his thumbs across Rich’s cheeks and collects the tears. 

Rich mirrors the action, sighing deeply and leaning his head onto the armrest of Jake’s wheelchair. Jake runs his hand through Rich’s hair, trying to soothe him. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” Rich’s voice shakes as he tries to get up from the floor. He’s avoiding Jake’s face, so he misses the incredibly concerned look Jake had fixed on him. 

“Rich, talk to me, what just happened?” 

Rich had situated himself on Jake’s bed, his head between his knees. He was concentrating on regulating his breathing before he answered. “I--you--m-my mom.” He still can’t form a coherent sentence. Jake gently reaches out for his hands and sets them on his chest, right above his heart. 

“Rich, feel that? In for four, out for four.” He breathes deeply, waiting for Rich to do the same. Rich eventually follows suit, letting out the breath he had been holding. They sit there for a few minutes before his breathing evens out. “I’m all checked out, so we can leave, if you’re ready?” 

Rich nods numbly, standing up and moving to stand behind Jake’s wheelchair. He rests his hands on the handles, but doesn’t push, knowing that Jake didn’t like trusting people to not run him into things. Jake sits there for a moment, like he was waiting for something. 

“Y-you can push me if you want…” he eventually says, “I-I trust you.” Jake’s voice is so quiet that Rich has to strain to hear the last part. 

Rich slowly moves them forward, his steps stiff and awkward. He was leaning on the chair as much as he was pushing it, having some difficulty walking on his own. Jake just sits patiently, not saying a thing about their pace or Rich’s jerky gait. 

James is waiting for them once they get to the lobby. Rich is breathing rather hard, but trying his best not to show it. He was beyond mad at himself. He went from one of the most in shape people at school, to not able to walk to an elevator and just stand while it moved. James tries to take control of the wheelchair from Rich but backs off when both boys glare at him. He slowly follows them out to his idling car, having to help Jake into the back while Rich painstakingly buckled himself in the passenger seat. 

Despite the fact that James had tried to find the softest clothes Rich owned, they were still scratchy and irritating on his skin, and the seatbelt wasn’t helping. After returning the wheelchair to the hospital, James climbs into the car. “Well boys, ready to go home?”

The prospect of having a home, of having people who care about him, makes Jake have to fight back tears. Rich hears him sniff and slowly turns around, holding the seatbelt away from his body. He holds his hand out to Jake, wanting to convey something,  _ anything  _ about what he was feeling, but he didn’t know how to say it in words. He didn’t know how to say that Jake had always had a home with him. That Jake hadn’t needed to look any farther than right in front of him to find someone who would love and protect him. 

He doesn’t know if Jake understands, but he thinks he does, because he looks back at Rich, his expression full of something...affection? Rich doesn’t know, but it sparks a feeling in his chest, just a small one. One that tells him, maybe Jake likes him back after all. The silence that blankets the car back to James’ apartment is comfortable. 

They get Jake out of the car and into the wheelchair James had procured for him before heading towards the apartment building. James smacks himself on the forehead when they get to the bottom of the stairs. “Fuck. God, I’m so stupid. Jake, how much do you weigh?” He looks at the flight of stairs then back at the scrawny teen. 

Jake shrugs, “I dunno, buck fifty?” he guesses. 

James bites his lip and looks at Rich, “can you get the wheelchair?”

Rich nods and James sweeps Jake into his arms. Jake lets out an undignified squawk, protesting vehemently. Rich grins and tries to cover his laugh with a cough as Jake fixes him with a glare over James’ shoulder. 

Once he’s back in his wheelchair he crosses his arms and glares at them. “I could’ve made it up the stairs on my own, thank you very much,” his chin is raised in indignance and it just makes the laugh Rich had been holding in bubble to the surface. 

James rolls his eyes, “and if you would’ve done that we would’ve been here all day. This was much simpler, so just suck it up and don’t plan on going anywhere by yourself for a while.” He gives the boys a shit-eating grin before going to one of the doors and unlocking it. He throws it open so Rich could wheel Jake inside. The apartment wasn’t fancy, a small living room and kitchenette attached to a short hallway with two bedrooms and a bathroom coming off of it. 

Jake grins up at Rich. “Looks like we’re gonna be roomies.”

Rich groans and flings himself onto the couch and then he winces. The pain doesn’t stop him from dramatically throwing his arm over his eyes. “You’re such a bed hog though,” he complains, trying to keep the smile from his voice. “And you sleep cuddle.” He fixes Jake with a pointed look.

Jake turns red and sputters, “shut up! I d-do not! And a-anyways. If I did, you’d love it.” He doesn’t look at Rich as he’s speaking, instead choosing to make his way to the kitchen and hunt for food.

“I would,” Rich agrees goodnaturedly, ignoring the shocked look Jake shoots him. 

James throws his hands into the air in frustration, “oh my god can’t you just kiss already?” He grabs his keys and leaves the apartment without another word. Rich blushes darkly and doesn’t look at Jake. The telltale squeak of the tires on the cheap linoleum tells Rich that Jake was coming closer. Jake comes to a stop right in front of him. 

“Rich, do you want to kiss me?” There’s no teasing note in his voice, nothing to suggest that he had ulterior motives. Rich looks up at him, so many emotions in his eyes that Jake can’t even begin to name them all. Rich bites his lip and nods slowly. Before Jake can respond he’s up and across the room, jerking his hands through his hair and swearing under his breath. “Rich.”

He doesn’t stop pacing, if anything, he speeds up, still muttering to himself and anxiously pulling his fingers through his hair. 

“Richard Goranski.” Jake’s voice had a warning note in it that makes him stop. Rich turns to face Jake, not looking at him, afraid of what he might see. “Please come talk to me.” Rich doesn’t look at Jake’s face, knowing that if he does, Jake will use the puppy-dog eyes on him and he’ll be bound to give in. So instead he shakes his head quickly. “Are you gonna make me beg?” Jake asks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, but the effect is lost on Rich, whose eyes were still fixed on the ground. 

“Richie, please, can we just talk for a second?” It’s the use of the childish name that gets his attention. Rich sighs and motions to the spare bedroom--well, he supposes it wasn’t a spare anymore, but it felt weird to call it his and Jake’s room...actually, to be more precise, it felt weird, that it didn’t feel weird, to call it their room. Jake follows him, waiting for Rich to get settled on the bed before maneuvering himself to sit facing Rich. 

He reaches out and grabs Rich’s hands, making Rich’s eyes jerk up to his face. “Rich, I, uh, don’t quite know how to say this, but, I’m crazy about you.” Jake’s eyes are looking everywhere in the room but at him, who had been stunned into silence by Jake for a second time that day. Before he can get his wits about him again, Jake was rushing to backpedal. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, please just forget I said an--”

Rich does the cliche thing and cuts off Jake’s useless apologies with a kiss. It’s abrupt and foreign, but something about it just feels right. Both boys realize what they’re feeling at the same time; home. Rich pulls away, breathing heavily.

“S-so, does that mean you like me back?” Jake asks, attempting to mask his insecurity with bravado. Rich just nods and winds his arms around Jake’s neck. 

Before they can go back to kissing Rich’s phone interrupts them. He jumps and searches his pockets for the annoying noise. Once he finally fishes it out he looks at the screen, a dorky picture of James was displayed, with the words “BEST BIG BRO” under it. Rich sighs wearily before answering. 

“Yes James?” 

“L-listen, I came back for some of your stuff, which I know is dumb, but I figured dad would be--shit.”

Rich hears pounding on the other end of the line and then his father’s muffled voice makes it’s way to him. His face goes ashen. “James, James you have to get out of there.” His voice is laced with panic and he jumps up. 

“I-I can’t. I’m stuck in the bathroom upstairs.” James’ voice is terrified. 

“O-okay. Stay there, I’m calling 911 and I’m on my way.” He starts to run from the room but Jake catches his arm. “Jake I am so sorry but I need to go. My dad, he--he--James--I have to go.” Horrible scenarios are flashing through his head. 

“Hey,” Jake’s voice brings him back to reality. “You stay on the phone with James, I’ll call 911. And Rich, please be careful.” He pulls Rich into a sloppy, emotion-filled kiss before releasing him and pulling his phone out.

With one last look at Jake, he runs out. “James? Are you there?” Rich was growing more, and more, panicked.

“I-I’m h-here.” 

He doesn’t think he’s ever heard James sound so afraid. Then the sound of wood splintering comes through the phone and James cries out. 

“Oh Dick,” his father sings through the phone, “come and get this traitorous rat, you call a brother.” The line disconnects and Rich cries out. He’s running despite the spots in his vision, despite the fact his legs--and his lungs--were on fire. He needed to get there to do something. 

He turns the corner to his block. At the front door he hesitates, waiting to see if he hears sirens. He doesn’t. He opens the door.  _ at least I got to tell Jake how I feel,  _ he thinks as he crosses the threshold. James’ body tumbles down the stairs, his face bloody and swollen already. Rich falls to his knees, searching for a pulse. 

A harsh hand grabs his hair and hauls him up. “So you’ll come home for him, but not for your dear old man? That hurts Richard, it really does.” 

His father’s words are the last thing Rich hears before everything goes dark.


	7. I Will Always Come For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is intense. (Also i've never been pepper sprayed, but i've heard it's painful as shit and lasts for a hot minute)  
> This chapter ends happily tho, so my boys are on their way to a happy ending.  
> Reading you're comments yesterday literally made my day (it was going really shitty till I started reading them)  
> let me know what you guys think!

After Jake got off the phone with 911 he called Chloe to come and pick him up. He knew people were coming to save Rich, and he knew how he’d get to Rich’s house, now all he needed to do was figure out was how to get down the stairs. He spies an extra set of keys on the counter and grabs them as he wheels past.

Navigating the door alone was difficult, but not impossible, the stairs however, posed an entirely different threat. With a deep sigh, Jake basically flings himself to the floor and has to scramble to grab the chair before it wheels away. He pushes the chair down the stairs and then starts to scoot himself down, one stair at a time.

He’s almost to the bottom when Chloe’s car screeches up to the curb. Her driving has always been horrendous. She jumps out of the car, righting his wheelchair and looking at him, her face incredibly concerned. “Jake! What happened? Is this why you called me panicking? Did you fall?” She tries to lift him into his chair but it doesn’t go exactly as she planned.

Jake chuckles dryly, “Yes, please help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. No, Rich is in trouble, I said that on the phone. We need to go. Hold my chair.” He heaves himself up and into the chair, signaling for Chloe to get moving. She jumps into action and nearly dumps him into the passenger seat of her car. When her car squeals away from the curb Jake has to hold onto the car door, almost afraid that he wouldn’t make it to the Goranski house in one piece.

The front door was ajar when Jake got there and he throws open the car door. Chloe puts her hand on his arm, “Jake, just wait a second, please. Don’t run--er, sorry, roll--in there half-cocked. You have no idea what you’ll find in there.” Her words make him hesitate but he still struggles to get out of the car. She runs around the car to stand in his path. “If you get hurt trying to save him, Rich will be beside himself.”

Chloe’s words finally got through to him. He stops struggling and finally hears sirens in the distance. “I-I need him to be okay Chlo--I don’t know what I’d do without him.” His voice breaks and unbidden tears slip down his cheeks.

“I know Jakey. Okay, here’s the plan. You stay. Tell the cops everything you know when they get here. I’m going to see what’s happening inside.” Chloe pulls something small and black from her purse. Jake looks at her wide-eyed. “Relax, it’s just pepper spray.” She takes a last look at Jake before tossing her purse in the back and heading for the door. Rich’s older brother was crawling towards the door. He looks up at her, and his one open eye widens.

“Go,” he shakily points to the door. Chloe shakes her head and steps over him.

“Which way?” she demands, looking between the stairs and the hall to the rest of the first floor.

“Up,” he eventually manages to respond. Chloe nods in thanks and takes the stairs two at a time. At the top of the stair she stands silently, waiting for an indication of where Rich was. A furious roar comes from the room at the end of the hall and Chloe moves as quietly as possible in that direction.

Rich’s father’s shout carries out into the hall, “--ou think I would just let you leave? After I fed you, clothed you, raised you, for seventeen ungrateful years. And then you come back in here after everything, acting all high and mighty. Well I’m not the one that’s a walking sin, am I?”

Chloe’s disgusted, but she didn’t hear Rich respond, which makes her walk a little faster. She hits a creaky spot on the floor and stops dead in her tracks. The shouting stops immediately. She sprints the rest of the way to the door and presses herself up against the wall next to it. The door is jerked open seconds later and without a second thought she brings up the pepper spray and maces Rich’s father. He falls on the floor, holding his face and howelling. Chloe jumps over him, placing herself between the irate, injured man and Rich’s prone body.

“Bitch.” He spits, still holding his eyes.

Chloe’s lip curls in response, “you know, I never liked that word, but here’s the deal, do you know what a bitch is, in the scientific sense?” He doesn’t respond and she laughs brutally, “oh, right, sorry, I must’ve used a word you didn’t understand. Allow me to explain, a bitch is a female dog. Female dogs are notorious protectors, known for being vicious and territorial, protective, and absolutely cut-throat if someone hurts what’s theirs. So here’s the deal. Rich, he’s a part of my ‘pack’ now. Touch him again, and you’ll get to find out exactly what I mean by cut-throat.” She’s standing tall, her shoulders back and an absolutely murderous expression on her face.

Before Rich’s father can respond feet are pounding up the stairs, several sets of them it sounds like. The police officers are upon them in a matter of seconds. They look from Rich’s father’s body to Chloe, who was still clutching the pepper spray, to Rich, who was lying deathly still. Rich was lying in a puddle of blood that was large enough to be concerning. Once she saw that Rich’s father was in handcuffs she backs up, hanging off to the side awkwardly while the paramedics examined Rich.

She thought they’d forgotten about her and was about to make her escape to the car and Jake, when two police officers accosted her on the stairs. “Ms Valentine?” the shorter of the two asks. She just nods in response, not slowing down. “Can we ask you a few questions?” Once she’s standing in the front door and can see Jake again, she nods. They gesture to the front lawn, needing her out of the way so that the flow of emergency responders and police officers wasn’t obscured. Jake looks at her questioningly but she ignores him.

~~~

Jake was fidgeting nonstop. Chloe was talking to the cops, James was sitting in the back of an ambulance, and Rich was nowhere to be seen. Without help, he was basically stranded in the car. They’d taken a gurney into the house a while ago, but still hadn’t emerged. Jake’s heart was beating out of his chest. He just needed Rich to be okay. Finally they came out of the front door, Rich’s body lying deathly still.

A cry of anguish tears itself from Jake’s chest and he goes to stand, but before he can Chloe is there, pushing on his chest, keeping him seated. He’s breathing rapidly now, unable to calm himself down. Chloe puts her hands on his face and forces him to look at her. “Jake. In, 1-2-3-4. Out 1-2-3-4. Right?” She looks at him, making sure he was breathing with her. He nods numbly, his eyes still following Rich to the ambulance. She snaps her fingers in front of his face. “Look here,” she gestures to herself. “You need to calm down or they won’t let you in to see Rich when he gets back to the hospital. Rich needs calm. Rich needs you to be calm so you can go visit him.”

He nods, his eyes more focused. James limps up to them. “Hey guys, so how would you feel about giving me a ride to the hospital?” He’s leaning heavily against the car and Chloe glances at Jake once more before going to flutter anxiously around James.

“Um, are you sure you shouldn’t be going with them?” She’s inspecting the work the paramedics did, acting as if she could find a flaw in it.

James shrugs and winces, “no, but if I go with them, it’ll be harder to get me declared as Rich’s legal guardian so, I’m not…” he tries to purse his lips with little success. After a few seconds he rolls his good eye and jerks open the car door. “So, can we go?”

Chloe nods briskly and runs around to the driver’s side door. She had already finished talking to the police and they said that they’d come to the hospital to get Rich, James, and Jake’s official statements. She drives them to the hospital, driving the most carefully she ever had in her life. Jake was shouting at her to drive faster but she tuned him out. The ambulance had left right before them, and she didn’t want to pass them and end up at the hospital too soon. She was worried that if Jake had to sit in the waiting room for too long, he’d go insane. He was way more serious about Rich than he made it out to be when they’d talked.

She parks at the hospital and hovers awkwardly while James gets Jake settled into his chair. What she does not expect is James squatting in front of Jake, wincing all the while, and grabbing Jake’s face. “Hey.” He says sharply, getting Jake’s full attention. “Rich needs you. But he doesn’t need you acting like this. He needs _his_ Jake, the guy who’s been his rock for the last three years. So you find that guy and bring him back before we go in to see Rich, because you’re no good to him like this. He’s a tough guy, he’ll make it through this, and then he’s gonna be fucking pissed that you two got in the middle and put yourselves at risk.” He looks at both of them then, his disapproval obvious on his face.

Jake nods, and lets James push him into the waiting room for Emergency. They hadn’t been there long when Rich’s nurse from his first stay in the hospital comes running out. When she sees James’ face, hers goes even more ashen. “James. I am so sorry. This is all my fault.”

At her words his eyes jerk up to hers abruptly, “I’m sorry, what?” He’s standing now, unknowingly allowing Lucy to better evaluate the extent of his injuries.

“I-I was talking to Rich while he was here, I noticed that he had some scars that were… unusual… but when I asked he just brushed me off and I didn’t press him. If I would’ve he wouldn’t’ve gone back there.” She’s lightly grabbed his arm and started hauling him away. Chloe stands, pushing Jake’s chair to follow them. James holds out his hand to stop them.

“No, wait for them to come talk to you, you can go see Rich. He shouldn’t be alone, and I really should get some of this more seriously looked at. I’ve already called the lawyer, everything’s getting worked out. Stay.”

Chloe sinks back into a chair and rests her head on Jake’s shoulder.

~~~

_Rich was curled up with Jake on the couch, they were watching a movie. Jake was smiling down at him, “I love you,” he says sweetly, leaning down to kiss the end of Rich’s nose. Rich wrinkles his nose in response, a dark blush covering his cheeks._

_“I love you too Jake,” Rich’s reply is automatic, he doesn’t even have to think about it. He’s loved Jake for so long, that it’s just a part of him. The smile Jake turns on him in response is so bright it’s nearly blinding. Then Rich’s father storms into the room. He rips Jake away from Rich and starts hitting him, cursing at the both of them and calling them horrible names. Jake is silent until Rich’s father turns to Rich, the malicious gleam in his eye all too familiar._

_“Well Richard, let’s show your little boyfriend what we do to faggots in this house,” he spits, stalking towards Rich like a predator towards it’s prey. His father hits him once in the jaw, another time in his ribs. He’s thrown from the couch, his father still shouting at him._

_Rich opens his mouth to speak, to tell Jake that he’s fine, but nothing comes out as all the air is forced from his body by a particularly brutal kick. Jake’s resulting cry was painful to hear._

_Everything goes dark._

Rich was lying painfully still in a hospital bed for the second time in as many weeks. The nurses had cleaned him up, taking blood off his face and arms. Chloe pushes Jake into the room and he pulls away from her, rocketing towards the bed to grab Rich’s hand. He picks it up and holds it to his face, not noticing that he was crying or that the tears were collecting on their joined hands.

Chloe comes over and rests her hand gently on Jake’s back before taking his free hand and moving it to Rich’s chest. She sets it right above his heart, knowing that Jake needed physical proof that Rich was alive. He rests his head against the rail on the side of Rich’s bed, still not letting go of his hand.

James and Lucy come in a moment later. James was on crutches, but he looked significantly better. “Good news guys, I don’t have any broken bones or concussions.” He pulls the chair up to the other side of Rich’s bed, but Jake doesn’t even acknowledge him.

Lucy comes and squats beside Jake’s chair. “Jake?” She waits for him to look at her and the raw look in his eyes has her looking away. “Rich is so lucky to have you, did you know that?”

Jake just blinks at her.

“He’s okay because of you and Chloe.”

Jake laughs bitterly. “You call this okay? He’s basically been beaten to a pulp.” He gestures to Rich’s body without looking at him. Lucy sighs and stands.

“He hasn’t though. He’s got a minor fracture in one of his ribs, but that’s it. Everything else appears to be superficial.” Lucy turns to Chloe, “I’ll be right back with a chair for you.” She pats Jake on the shoulder before leaving the room.

James turns to Chloe once Lucy was gone. “And who exactly are you?” He asks, his voice more curious than accusatory.

“I’m Jake’s other best friend, Chloe.” She looks down at her nails, suddenly feeling very out of place.

“I didn’t get the chance to actually thank you earlier, so thank you, for coming to my rescue, to Rich’s rescue. If you ever need anything, money, a place to stay, a kidney, ask and it’s yours. I seriously cannot thank you enough.” James’ words catch both Chloe and Jake off guard.

She just blinks at him, not sure how to respond. Lucy comes back in, carrying a chair awkwardly. James starts to get up to help her but her glare has him settling back down.

“Thanks,” Chloe says, looking between James and Lucy, wondering just what was going on there. Lucy shoots once last glance in James’ direction before nearly running from the room. Chloe sits, keeping her hand on Jake’s back, knowing that he needs as many anchors as possible right now.

Jake’s gasp startles her. Rich had just squeezed his hand. Rich groans, “James, that better not be you holding my hand, because I know you’re not dumb enough to refuse medical treatment.” His words come out more as pants when he struggles to breathe. “Fuck. I feel like I’ve been hit by a semi.” He still hadn’t opened his eyes and Jake was starting to get worried.

“It’s not James holding your hand,” Jake finally says, his voice rough. Rich’s head turns in his direction as he finally opens his eyes. He smiles softly until he realizes that Jake was crying.

“Jakey, my knight in shining armor, why’re you crying? I’m fine, I’m right here.” Rich takes Jake’s hand and puts it to his face. This only makes Jake cry harder. He pulls away from Rich and curls in on himself.

“Rich, I’m so sorry. You--You can’t call me your knight in shining armor. I didn’t do anything. I sat in the car the entire time. I’m so fucking useless, I can’t do anything to help you or protect you.” Jake’s nearly sobbing at this point and Rich looks to Chloe helplessly. Jake was too far away for him to be able to reach. She nods slightly and gives Jake’s chair a slight nudge forward, putting Jake back within Rich’s grasp.

Rich pulls Jake as close to him as he could get without getting out of the wheelchair. “Jacob Dillinger, I want you to listen to me right now.” Rich doesn’t even try to minimize his lisp this time, wanting to get Jake’s attention. “None of this is your fault. It is not your fault I’ve got a deadbeat dad. It is not your fault I charged in there like I was invincible. It is not your fault that I got hurt. You’re here now, that’s what’s important.” He’s grasping Jake’s hands tightly, worried that if he didn’t Jake would pull away again.

Slowly Jake’s eyes come up to meet his. They’re shining with unshed tears. “I was so worried. I thought--” he doesn’t finish, instead squeezing his eyes tightly and taking a deep breath.

“I’m right here.” Rich takes Jake’s hand and puts it back over his heart. It was beating wildly out of control and Rich was sure his blush was obvious from a mile away.

James clears his throat once he sees that Jake had calmed down considerably. “Well, I’m an even bigger idiot than you thought I was, little brother, because I told them I wasn’t going to be admitted to the hospital so I could be here for you.” He tries to grin, but his split lip makes it rather difficult.

Without looking away from Jake, Rich just rolls his eyes and starts to sigh before wincing. “I underestimate your stupidity every day. But seriously, thank you. It means a lot that you’re here.” He looks away from Jake and smiles at James, his mind more at ease when James smiles back. Then Rich turns to Chloe. “I seem to recall you macing my father and then jumping between us?”

Chloe bites her lip and looks to Jake for help.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it, but what the fuck Chloe? He could’ve hurt you… or worse.” Rich is looking at her like he needs to make her see sense.

“You’re a part of my family now, and we look out for our own.” She shrugs half-heartedly. Rich just blinks at her. “Jake loves you, and Jake’s a part of my family. Ergo, you’re now a part of my family, oh, and also you too, James, because you’re Rich’s brother.” She raises a shoulder daintily, but Rich had stopped listening when she mentioned Jake loving him.

Jake, who had turned an alarming shade of magenta, was attempting to stutter out some form of response. Rich just grinned at him and squeezed his hand.

“What we really need to be talking about is how James is hopelessly pining after that nurse, Lucy.” Chloe says, becoming worried for Jake’s health.

“I am not!” James defends, standing up and immediately sitting back down.

“Are so,” Rich butts in, sending Jake a small smile. ‘Payback’ he mouths and Jake laughs.

“What am I even supposed to say to her!?” James’ voice is despondent as he flings his arms into the air and then buries his face in his hands. “Hi Lucy, you probably don’t remember me but we went to school together, and I’ve been hopelessly pining after you since we were kids?” He hadn’t looked up since he started talking, but his head jerks up when he hears Lucy’s surprised gasp. “L-Lucy, I can explain.” He’s on his feet in an instant, smarter about it this time as he uses his crutches to move around Rich’s bed.

The three teens watch the scene play out, focused intently. Lucy doesn’t respond, just staring at James.

“This is the part of the rom-com where you run into his arms and kiss him,” Chloe stage whispers helpfully. Lucy blushes darkly before shrugging and walking up to James. She wraps a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him down into a kiss. Rich protests loudly, making James smile.

“Now it’s only fair, I’m going to have to walk in on you and your boyfriend kissing and don’t even try to deny it, because we all know it’ll happen. It already did!” He’s laughing and Lucy was leaning into his side slightly.

She looks down at her watch, “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call you later?”

James’ giddy nod in response has Rich snickering behind his and Jake’s joined hands. Jake just grins at him, blushing darkly. Rich hadn’t stuttered or tried to deny that they were boyfriends, and the thought made Jake’s heart soar. Rich starts to pull Jake towards him but the rails on the bed get in the way. He groans and turns his head to look at James. “Dude, you’ve gotta spring me. I can’t kiss Jake while I’m stuck in this monkey trap.”

“Well then it’s a good thing they’ve trapped the monkey,” James laughs as he stands and goes to leave the room.

Chloe looks between the two boys. “I’m just going to wait in the hall.”

The door closes behind her and Rich turns to Jake, smiling brightly. He sits up, sucking in air through his teeth when his ribs hurt. He pulls Jake in between his legs, with him on the hospital bed and Jake in the wheelchair Rich was a couple inches taller. He grins when he realizes this, reveling in the moment.

When Jake notices he laughs, gently pulling Rich down into a gentle kiss. He pulls back and smiles when Rich tries to follow. “God, I was so worried about you.” He rests their foreheads together, glad that Rich was here, that he was--more or less--just fine. Jake takes a shuddering breath, letting Rich pull him into his chest. He just wraps his arms around Rich’s waist, not planning on letting go anytime soon.

Rich was tracing gentle shapes across Jake’s back when he asks, “Jake, why did you and Chloe come to my dad’s house after I left?” his tone is incredulous, like he couldn’t believe that they would do such a thing.

“You left in such a frantic rush I knew you’d get in trouble so I called Chloe and we came over.” Jake’s voice was growing agitated, he hadn’t exactly expected gratitude, but this wasn’t what he had pictured either.

“But that’s just who I am Jake, every time I do something dumb you can’t put yourself in danger.” Rich is pleading with him, begging for Jake to understand that he just wasn’t worth it.

“Yeah? Well sorry for your luck, but this is who I am. When the people I love are in danger, I can’t just sit here and do nothing! Do you have any idea how helpless I felt, just sitting in the car the entire time? I had no idea what could be happening inside. What could’ve happened to you,” Jake’s voice gets softer the longer he speaks, all the fight having left him.

Rich reaches for his face, relieved when he doesn’t pull away. He wipes the tears off Jake’s face. “You love me?” His voice breaks, Jake, perfect, sweet, kind, Jake said he loved him.

Jake smiles slightly, “of course that’s the only thing you’d get out of that.” He rolls his eyes good-naturedly “Yes, you dork. I love you. Which means that when you make dumb choices and get yourself in trouble, I will always come for you.”

Now Rich was crying too. He’s grinning at Jake, knowing that even if he doesn’t think he deserves this love, Jake thinks he does, and for right now, that was enough. “Well, this kinda goes without saying, but I love you too.”

Jake’s responding grin was so bright it was blinding.


	8. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS! BEN PLATT WON A TONY I CAN DIE HAPPY  
> Aside from that there's only a few more chapters left (i'm thinking 10 total for this story)   
> But if you'd like, adventure over to my tumblr and request some fics from me (I'd love to write what you guys want to read. I'm thinking a guardian angel treebros fic next. what do you guys think?)  
> Okay, I'm done now, this is just a cute little angsty chapter. As always, I love you guys and let me know what you think!

They were forcing Rich to stay in the hospital over night, worried that he might have a concussion. He argued with the nurses and doctors relentlessly over this decision, wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep. The look that the doctors turn on James--something akin to ‘control your charge’--has Rich stewing in rage all evening. 

When the argument had first started, James sent Jake and Chloe for food, worried that the two boys would team up against the hospital staff that were just doing their jobs. Now that he was alone with Rich, he was debating whether or not that was the wisest decision. Jake could get through to Rich in a way that James could only wish for. 

“Rich?” He calls tentatively. 

Rich doesn’t answer, instead choosing to grunt in response. He’s staring towards the door, silently trying to will Jake back to the hospital faster. 

“They’re just doing their jobs, they have to make sure that you aren’t concussed.” James would move to block Rich’s line of sight, but his ankle was killing him and he didn’t want to get up. Rich doesn’t respond, just narrowing his eyes at the door. 

A knock echos through the small room and Rich perks up, quickly deflating again when Lucy’s head peers around the door. “I get a break for dinner, do you wanna go the cafeteria with me?” She’s looking at James hopefully and he stands, eager to talk to her again. As he starts to move around the foot of Rich’s bed he changes his mind, shaking his head sadly. 

“I can’t leave my brother. Maybe tomor--”

“Oh my fucking God. I’m going to mope if you’re here or not. Just go flirt badly with your girlfriend and leave me here to stew in peace.” Rich looks between the two of them before crossing his arms over his chest and trying not to breathe too deep. 

“Language,” James chastises without thinking about it. Lucy laughs and walks over to link her arm with his. 

Once the door shuts behind them, Rich wiggles around slightly, trying to get comfortable. If they were finally going to leave him alone, he was going to sleep, or at least try until the nightmares wake him up. After his evening it would be safe to assume that he’d be fighting to get any sleep at all the next few months. 

He was just starting to drift off when the door bangs open and Chloe’s bickering with Jake reaches his ears. “If you’d wait a second I would’ve opened the door for you! Jesus, it’s like you’re trying to wake the dead.” Chloe’s voice was good natured despite her words. 

“Can you blame me for getting anxious? You were purposefully delaying us and I have no desire to be very far from Rich right now.” Jake sounded considerably less pleased. Rich opens one eye and glares at them. Jake notices his attention immediately. He flaps his hand at Chloe and grins at Rich. 

“We passed James and Lucy on their way to dinner, they’re so cute together,” Chloe gushes, leaning on the back of Jake’s wheelchair and hanging around just to bug him. 

“Yeah, Chlo, if you don’t mind, I’m really tired and I’d like to sleep for at least a little while tonight.” Rich looks really sorry, but his eyelids were already drooping again and he didn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. 

“Right, sorry, c’mon Jake,” she starts to wheel him away, taking a second to process that both boys were protesting. “What? One at a time…” Her brows are furrowed as she tries to figure out who was saying what. 

“Jake can stay. He, um, he kinda helps me when I have nightmares. And--and I know I’m bound to have one.” Rich looks incredibly embarrassed, picking at the thin hospital blanket laid across his lap. Jake shoots daggers at Chloe as he wheels away from her and back towards the bed. 

“O-oh. Sorry, Rich,” she pushes her hair behind her ear in a gesture of nervousness, “I’ll see you guys later then.” She nearly runs from the room and for some reason Rich feels really bad. Jake grabs his hand and squeezes. 

“Scoot over?” He asks shyly, looking up at Rich through his lashes. Rich smiles at him shyly, scooting over as far as he could on the narrow bed. Jake grins at him and begins the arduous process of moving from the chair to the bed. Rich hovers, not able to do much, because every time he moves his ribs hurt, but he can’t seem to leave Jake be. 

Jake chuckles at him before scooting back to sandwich himself next to Rich. They’re squished and it prompts them both to start laughing. Rich’s laugh is cut off quickly by a groan of pain as he tries to hold his ribcage, but finds that they’re too cramped. 

“Hm, I’ve got a better idea,” Jake muses aloud, shocking Rich when he just picks him up and scoots over to the middle of the bed before putting Rich between his legs like they had slept when they were both in the hospital the first time. Rich was blushing furiously, hoping that Jake couldn’t tell how fast his heart was beating. Of course he could though, Rich could feel Jake’s heart beating so it would make sense that Jake could feel Rich’s heart galloping away. 

Jake leans down and kisses Rich’s cheek, grinning when he notices the dark blush across his cheeks. “You’re so cute,” he mumbles without thinking, shocked when Rich tries to turn and glare at him.

“I am not. I’m very dashing,” Rich grumbles, crossing his arms and resolutely not looking at Jake, who just chuckles in response. 

“That’s true.” 

Rich stops breathing for a moment, still not used to Jake just saying things like that to him and not following it with a ‘bro’ or a ‘dude’ to make it seem less serious. He turns his head to look over his shoulder at Jake. Jake notices his gaze and leans down, connecting their lips gently. Rich slowly turns so he’s sitting sideways on the bed and can wrap his arms around Jake’s neck. They’re both so absorbed in each other that they don’t notice the door open. 

“FUCKING SERIOUSLY!” James groans, slamming the door behind himself. Rich doesn’t move or untangle from Jake, instead choosing to flip his brother off. Jake grins against his mouth, knowing exactly what was going to happen from the moment that Rich moved one of his arms. A feminine snicker finally catches their attention and they finally pull apart. 

Lucy was standing with James, laughing at his red face. Rich and Jake grin at them, their faces bright with unapologetic smiles. 

“You know,” James says, rubbing his forehead, “I liked it better when you were just loudly pining after Jake instead of kissing him every time you guys are in the same room. You’re like newlyweds,” he rolls his eyes, no bite in his voice. 

“You hated listening to me pine.” Rich gives him an unimpressed look and Jake looks down at him, his eyes wide. 

James waves his hand dismissively, “well no matter, you’ll get a sense of how awkward it is to walk in on your sibling having a spit-swap-meet with their significant other.” He grins down at Lucy and she just grins back at him. 

Rich groans and puts a hand over his eyes, “stop. I get it. Just, maybe knock next time.”

James glares at them, “I did knock. Twice.” 

Rich bites his lip in an attempt to laugh but once he glances up at Jake’s face he starts to snicker. “Sorry?” he offers, not sounding apologetic in the least. James just laughs and crosses the room to ruffle Rich’s hair, ignoring his groaning and pleading. 

“I hate to be That Guy, but Jake you know you can’t sleep here, right?” Lucy looks at the two boys, her face sad. 

“But I’m not really here, I’m just a figment of your imagination,” he accompanies this by the hand motion Obi Wan makes when he’s using his Jedi Mind trick. 

Rich snickers and whispers, “you’re such a fucking nerd.”

Jake leans down, putting his lips right behind Rich’s ear, “you love it.” Rich shivers and ignores James’ very vocal protests.

“You know I do.” He grins up at Jake, feeling better than he had in a long time. 

“Okay, well, that was real cute guys, but seriously,” Lucy motions for the door and Rich makes it a point of settling in against Jake’s chest.

“He can’t leave. He’s the only one that can help me after my nightmares.” Rich blinks at them, his face completely void of emotion.

“How long have you had nightmares for, Rich?” James asks quietly.

“I dunno, a couple years at least.” He shrugs half-heartedly, not really wanting to give the real answer; as soon as James left, and Rich had to face the full brunt of his father’s rage, his bad dreams turned into full-blown nightmares. The look James gives him says that he knows exactly what Rich was trying not to say, and that he felt horrible. “It’s just cause they started jacking with my meds and never put them back right. It’s not because of what you’re thinking,” he tries to put James’ mind at ease. 

James just looks at him, so much pity and guilt in his eyes that it’s suffocating. Rich feels like he’s failing, and like he’s gasping for air but it’s just not making a difference, it’s just not enough. Jake’s hand finds his, it squeezes tightly, bringing him back to reality. James just looks at them sadly, “I’ve fucked up so bad Richie. I left you. I left you with that monster. _ I  _ gave you nightmares. You’re boyfriend knows you better than I do. I feel like I don’t know anything about you.” He sinks to the chair next to Rich’s bed and buries his head in his hands. Lucy looks between them and pats James on the shoulder before silently leaving the room. 

Rich sighs tiredly, “James, we’ve had this conversation. You needed to watch out for yourself, and I’m fine. You’re my brother, you’re not supposed to know everything about me. And you know very well if you’d tried to keep better in touch, dad would’ve thrown a fit. You’re trying now, that’s all that matters.” he sniffs and wipes his eyes. James takes a deep breath and stands. 

“O-okay. So I’m going to go then, that way I can call the lawyer and get all of that taken care of. Y-you guys, you’ll be fine here? You won’t scar the nurses for life?” A bit of a joking tone is back in James’ voice, trying to cover up the fact he was just crying. Rich nods, smiling despite his tears. James hugs both boys before walking from the room and rubbing his eyes. 

Jake puts his head on Rich’s shoulder and hums, “so tell me, how do you have it in yourself to forgive everyone except yourself?” 

Rich blinks slowly, “because…” his bottom lip starts to wobble and he bites it to keep it still. “B-because, just look at me, I’m a total fuck up. I can’t sleep, I’ve got this fucking lisp, I couldn’t even protect my brother. A-and you--you and James, you’re trying so goddamn hard, how could I not forgive you.” Rich curls in on himself and Jake hugs him tightly. 

“Rich, you’re not a fuck up. I can’t sleep either. Your lisp, it’s the cutest fucking thing on the planet. And you tried. You tried  _ so goddamn hard  _ to protect him.” Jake presses another kiss to Rich’s cheek. His shoulders were shaking and Jake gently wipes the tears from his cheeks. Rich twists, ignoring the pain in his side in favor of planting a sloppy, wet, emotional kiss on Jake’s lips. 


	9. Author's Note

Hi Guys,   
So here's the deal  
I'm taking a short hiatus because I just had to put one of my horses down and it's taken a huge emotional tole on me.   
I'll be back next week some time probably.  
Thanks


	10. Maybe We Found Love Right Where We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys   
> So as you can tell, I'm back.   
> This is going to be the last "chapter" with the one following it being the epilogue.   
> Thanks for all of your sweet comments and things, they've helped tremendously the past few days.   
> Please let me know what you think of this latest installment  
> And, if there's something you'd like to see written (for this or deh) message me on tumblr bc I would love to take story requests (my tumblr is jasnahkholin)

Jake was woken up by Rich’s heart monitor beeping furiously. He looks over at it and squints, he wasn’t flatlining, so it didn’t make sense that it was making the shrill noise that was currently destroying Jake’s ears. Lucy comes into the room and notices that Rich was still sleeping. “He’s gotta be having a bad dream,” she says, walking over to the monitor and turning it off. She looks at Jake expectantly and his eyes dart towards the door. She gets the message and leaves them be.

Jake grabs Rich’s hand and squeezes it, “hey Rich, I don’t know if you’re having a bad dream, but you’ve gotta wake up.” 

Rich just snores slightly and burrows further into Jake’s chest, making him smile softly before resuming his quest. He doesn’t want to jostle Rich too much, he’d broken a rib before, and every time you moved it hurt like a mother fucker. Rich wasn’t stirring so he puts his hand on Rich’s shoulder and shakes him. “Rich you’re going to miss breakfast,” Jake hisses, knowing that food was a good way to get through to the short boy. 

At that Rich goes to sit up but doesn’t get far when the pain registers in his brain. His hand flies to his side and he elbows Jake. “OW. Fuck.” His eyes are squeezed tightly shut at he breathes shallowly. 

“Rich?” Jake bends down to try and see the shorter boy’s face. He looks away, waiting for the pain to fade some. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth as he lays back against Jake’s chest. “Were you having a nightmare?” Jake asks softly. 

Rich blushes and coughs slightly, wincing, “er--not exactly, no.” 

Jake raises his eyebrows and looks down at Rich, wondering just what exactly he  _ was  _ dreaming about. He clears his throat, “what, um, what were you dreaming about? Your heart thingie was beeping and Lucy had to come in and shut it off.” He’s blushing furiously, his brain venturing into the gutter for an answer.

“I was dreaming about when we just got to James’ for the first time, and we were talking about liking each other? I was so nervous.” He fidgets with his hospital bracelet and Jake ‘hm’s and leans his chin on Rich’s shoulder. 

“I still can’t believe you like me back.” He’s grinning widely, feeling surprisingly content. Rich turns his head and kisses him on the cheek quickly. 

“You better believe it. Now, I believe you mentioned something about breakfast earlier?” His tone is only slightly joking.

Jake snorts, “Rich, it’s like super early in the morning, they won’t have breakfast ready yet…” Rich’s disgruntled sigh was almost too cute for Jake to handle. 

“You said I was going to miss it,” he huffs and crosses his arms, pouting. 

Jake smiles at him. “You’re so cute when you pout. Your pout is almost cuter than your lisp.” 

Rich’s pout deepens as he narrows his eyes at Jake. “I’m not cute.” 

“Sorry babe, but you’re way too cute for your own good.” He grins as Rich blushes darkly. Rich turns to kiss him but before things can get to serious Jake pulls away. “Your brother said not to scar the nurses,” there’s a slight laugh in his voice. “Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

Rich leans back against his chest and Jake sighs happily. This was something he could get used to. Rich was so warm, and as cliche as it was, he perfectly complemented the fact that Jake was always cold. He grins to himself before pressing his freezing toes to Rich’s ankle. He jerks in response and glares over his shoulder at Jake. 

“Your feet are too cold.” 

Jake laughs and rolls his eyes, “are you sure you aren’t too hot?” He waggles his eyebrows as Rich puts his head into his hands.

“That was horrible,” he grumbles, his blush really obvious. Jake raises one shoulder and smiles at him. “You’re a dork,” the insult lacks any bite as Rich looks up at Jake, his face red but ridiculously happy all the same. 

“You love it,” He’s blushing darkly.

Rich laughs and leans his head back to look at Jake, “I do. Love you.” Rich grabs Jake’s hand and links their fingers together.

“I love you too Rich,” Jake sighs happily. This was so much more than either one of them had ever dreamed of. Rich grins up at him, his face radiating happiness. 

They grin at each other for a few minutes until Rich looks away shyly. “Hey, um, Jake, are we--are we boyfriends now?” He sounds so insecure that Jake’s heart just breaks. 

“If that’s what you want, Rich, I’d never want to force you into anything you weren’t okay with.” He runs his hand up and down Rich’s arm, trying to convey some form of assurance. 

“I, um, is that what you want?” Rich’s demeanor had totally changed, he’d gone from slightly insecure to really insecure. 

“There’s nothing that would make me happier.” Jake buries his face in the crook of Rich’s neck. 

Rich squawks and scoots away, “first of all, your nose is fucking freezing, please never do that while I’m comfortable.” He slowly moves to face Jake, not wanting to have this conversation without being able to see his face. “You--you really wanna be my boyfriend?” 

Jake’s face is incredulous, as if he couldn’t believe that Rich didn’t understand. “Of course I do. Rich, you’re amazing. I love you.” He sets his palm gently on Rich’s cheek, smiling, trying to get him to understand. “You’re so handsome and cute. You’ve got the best sense of humor, you’re warm and cuddly,” he wrinkles his nose, astounded by how cute his boyfriend--could he call Rich that now?--was. “You’re always there when I need you, and you care about other people. You try and protect everyone, even when it puts you in danger.” 

Rich was sniffling now, smiling at Jake shakily. He reaches out and gently pulls Jake towards him, “Jacob Dillinger, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” 

Jake nods, smiling when their foreheads bump lightly. He kisses the end of Rich’s nose, trying to figure out where to put his hands that it wouldn’t hurt Rich. “You are so perfect.” 

Rich blushes darkly, scooting closer so that he could be completely within the circle of Jake’s arms, “I love you, even if you do put your cold feet on me.” He smiles, letting Jake know that he was mostly kidding. 

Rich burrows his face into the crook of Rich’s neck, grinning when he complains about how cold he was. “I can’t help it, you’re just so warm,” Jake mumbles, his smile widening when Rich laughs. 

“Get off,” he shoves Jake back, grinning when he pouts, “I’m still tired. I plan on sleeping until it’s actually time for breakfast,” he grins at Jake, not feeling even a little bit bad when Jake blushes and looks chagrined. “Now, shut up and let let me sleep.” He settles back in Jake’s lap, against his chest and he’s snoring in a matter of minutes. Jake grins down at him, squeezing him tightly and shooing Lucy away when she peeks into the room. 

Jake doses on and off until James barges into the room. Rich doesn’t stir, but Jake’s eyes shoot open and he glares at James.  “Watch it, he needs the sleep.” 

James holds his hands up in surrender, silently taking the chair next to Rich’s bed. He sits in quietly for about five minutes before sighing and frowning at Jake. “Listen, Rich never has anything bad to say about you, but I’m his older brother and it’s my job to look out for him.”

Jake looks at him skeptically, not sure where James was going with this.

“Since it’s my job to look out for him, I get the distinct pleasure of threatening you.” He’s grinning as Jake purses his lips in concern. “Here’s the deal, you hurt him, and I’ll hurt you. Now, I know that you claim to love him, but seriously, hurt him, and it’ll be your funeral.” James’ face is totally serious.

Jake nods solemnly, “if I hurt him, I’d help you dig my grave.”

“Good man.” James claps him on the shoulder before settling back in his chair while they wait for Rich to wake up. They don’t sit in silence long before James speaks up again. “You know, you’re really good for him. When he used to talk about you his freshman year, I thought you were a son of a bitch, but I must admit, I’m impressed. You make him less self-sacrificing.”

Jake looks down at Rich, his face soft, “I didn’t do as much as you’re giving me credit for, most of that was the SQUIP.” He sighs, once again wondering what Rich went through at the hands of that monster. “He saved me though, he’s one of the only reasons I’m still around.”

“From what Rich told me, you saved him too, and not just because of what he had to deal with on a daily basis. He said he set your house on fire trying to get rid of the SQUIP and you went back into the house and saved him. That you jumped from the second story carrying him to make sure he got out safe. He said that’s how you broke your legs.” James looked at him, gratitude written across his face. 

“Anyone who knows Rich would’ve done it. He’s a great guy,” Jake tries to shrug it off, hugging Rich tightly, needing to reaffirm that he’s there. 

“That’s the point though, isn’t it? You’re the only one that really knows him, and you’re the only one that went back for him.” James is staring at Rich, looking just to make sure that he’s still there.

Jake sighs, resting his head on top of Rich’s. 

“He’s a hard person to know. That’s mostly my fault I think. He and I were really close before I left, and when I ran off, it really hurt him.” His looks at them morosely, wishing he could change the past.

“I think you’re giving yourself too much credit. Rich is the way he is, who’s to say whose fault it is? You certainly aren’t entirely to blame. In all the time I’ve known him, Rich hasn’t once held it against you that you went off in search of something better for yourself.” 

Rich starts to stir, bringing an effective end to the conversation. Jake doesn’t move, still hugging Rich to his chest. “Morning,” he greets, enamored with the fact that Rich didn’t seem to care that James was sitting a few feet away while they were still curled up together. 

“Please tell me it’s finally time for breakfast,” Rich groans, squinting up at Jake, his expression softening to a smile when Jake coughs and looks away. James looks between them, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

Rich opens his mouth to say something and Jake cuts him off, “I can explain.” James looks at him, eyebrows raised. “So Rich’s heart thing was like beeping wildly and Lucy came in and asked if Rich was having a nightmare, and the only way I could think of to wake him up was tell him that he was going to miss breakfast. He was not amused…” Jake tries to hide his smile, but he gives up after a minute, not feeling that bad. 

“He knows you so well already,” James laughs and stands, “okay, I’m going to see about getting you discharged, and finding some breakfast. Behave.” He looks at them sternly before his face breaks out into a smile and he waves, closing the door behind himself. 

“What were you and James talking about?” Rich looks over his shoulder at Jake.

“You, mostly.” Jake shrugs nonchalantly, avoiding Rich’s gaze.

Rich’s eyebrows creep towards his hairline, “me?” 

“Uh-huh, and that’s all you’re getting out of me.” He goes to cross his arms, but soon gives up because Rich was still leaning against his chest. Rich slowly moves himself away from Jake, turning to face him, breathing shallowly the entire time. Once he got himself situated again his face was ashen. “Are you okay?” Jake’s hands are fluttering around Rich, not sure where he needs to be the most concerned about. 

“Fine.” The word is spoken through grit teeth and does nothing to ease Jake’s worry. Rich screws his eyes shut and breathes for a moment, waiting for the pain in his ribcage to fade. “Now, I’m going to give you one last chance to tell me what you and James were talking about.” He puts his hands on his hips and looks at Jake sternly.

Jake grins and him and shakes his head, “you can’t make me talk.” His voice is smug as he offers Rich a half-shrug. 

“That so?” Rich reaches out and his fingers find Jake’s sides, wiggling back and forth mercilessly. Jake goes to shove him away, but then Rich finds a really ticklish spot and all he can do is try and scoot away. 

“No,” he whines, drawing out the word and punctuating it with giggles. He’s pushing Rich’s hands away, but he’s just grinning down at Jake, biting his lip to keep the laugh rumbling around his chest from bursting out. He stops for a second and lets Jake catch his breath.

“Are you going to talk now?” 

“N--” Jake cuts himself off when Rich starts to move his hands towards Jake’s side again, “it’s embarrassing.” He’s blushing and flushed at the same time and Rich thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. Rich just sits and waits for Jake to spit it out. He was committed now. “We weretalkingabouthowmuchiloveyou” Jake says it as one word, not stopping to breathe and not looking at Rich the entire time. “When your rib isn’t broke, I’m gonna get you back for that,” he grumbles immediately after, not letting Rich say anything. 

“You can’t. I’m not ticklish.” He smirks at Jake’s incredulous expression. “Go ahead and try. James used to hold me down and tickle me until I peed my pants so eventually I just became not ticklish.” Rich grins at him as he slowly reaches his arm out and wiggles his fingers along Rich’s side. The only response he gets is Rich’s raised eyebrows and smirk. “See?” 

Jake flops back against the bed with a huff, “that’s not fair. You’re totally going to use my ticklishness against me.” He’s pouting and he crosses his arms, determinedly looking away from Rich. 

“I see the appeal of the pouting now,” he laughs, grabbing the front of Jake’s hoodie and pulling him down into a kiss. “I’m sorry I ticked you,” he apologizes breathlessly against Jake’s lips. Jake just wraps his arms around Rich’s neck and deepens the kiss. Rich goes to lean forward but stops when his rib pulls. “Fuck. I am so sorry I told you all those jokes when you broke your rib.” His hand is pressed tightly to his side as he tries to find a comfortable way to sit. 

“That’s okay, the happy face you made when I started to laugh was more than worth it. Now, settle until they give you the morning dose of pain meds because if you end up even more hurt they won’t let you leave and I don’t know about you but I’d like to sleep in a real bed for the first time in forever.” Jake’s face is longing and immediately Rich feels bad. Jake was only here because of him. “No, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that. Please don’t blame yourself. I’m here because I want to be.” 

“If you hadn’t come back for me, you wouldn’t’ve broken your legs. And now you’re here because I’m here.” He scoots farther away from Jake and Jake’s heart shatters. 

“I’m here because I love you and that’s the end of that. Come back, please? I need you to keep me warm in these freezing rooms,” Jake pouts at Rich, knowing it would get him exactly what he wanted. Rich groans goodnaturedly before making his way back into Jake’s arms. 

He wraps his arms around Jake’s neck, hugging him tightly, “thank you, Jake. James was right, you are good for me.” He slaps his hand over his mouth. “Fuck.” 

“YOU WERE AWAKE! I KNEW IT!” Jake frowns down at Rich overdramatically. “You tickled me for nothing!” 

Rich was blushing darkly, looking up at Jake with as innocent an expression he could muster. “Love you Jakey,” he says, smiling up at Jake.

“Yeah whatever I love you too you meanie.” Jake grumbles, still pouting. Rich looks up at him and motions for Jake to bend down slightly. He does, begrudgingly, and Rich kisses his cheek sweetly. Jake’s pout melts away as he wraps his arms around Rich. “Okay, I guess you’re forgiven. This time.” He narrows his eyes and Rich starts to laugh before grabbing his ribcage. 

“I think I can live with that.” He sighs and settles back against Jake’s chest, content to doze until the nurse comes with his pain meds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I think that my next fic is going to be a Jared/Evan where Jared is a photographer. Thoughts?


	11. Epilogue: I'll Always Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a wild ride, and I love you all for sticking with me!  
> This is just a collection of snapshots of Rich and Jake as they grow up.  
> Thanks for your comments and support and kudos and for being amazing!  
> Let me know what you think of this last chapter (and keep your eyes peeled bc I'm sure as hell not done writing)

Rich was snoring loudly and it was impeding Jake’s ability to sleep. He’d forgotten to pick up allergy pills and it was fucking them both over. He groans and rolls away from Rich, putting his pillow over his head and groaning. Furious pounding on the door jerks Rich from his slumber.

“HEY FUCKWAD THE WALLS ARE RATTLING WITH YOUR SNORING CUT THAT SHIT OUT.” James’ irritated voice comes through the door and Jake laughs.

“I don’t snore that loud,” Rich grumbles sitting up and crossing his arms.

Jake stretches out, grinning up at Rich, “sorry babe, but you totally do.”

Rich throws himself down across Jake’s chest. “I think I’m dying. I can’t breathe.”

“I think I know how you feel,” he coughs over-exaggeratedly as Rich squirms, trying to find a comfortable way to lay. He eventually settles for scooting mostly back onto the bed and resting his head on Jake’s chest, right above his heart. Within minutes he’s back to snoring and Jake sighs, it appeared that he might need to invest in some earplugs.

He was just starting to drift off when their door was thrown open. He couldn’t see who was in the door but he figured it was James based on the fact he pointed at the bed angrily, “Fuck you both. I’m sleeping in my car because of that asshole and the fact you refuse to smother him and you won’t let me do it.” He slams the door behind himself and the apartment door slams a moment later. Jake smothers a laugh and squeezes Rich before letting himself get comfortable and drift off.

~~~

Deciding where to go to college was stressful for both boys. In the end they decided to stay right where they were and commute to the state college that was only half an hour away. Rich had regained his love of school and was pursuing an engineering degree. He loved his classes and the work they assigned him. Jake was studying biochemistry after becoming enamored with the dual credit science class he took senior year.

James would laugh at them and call them a pair of nerds whenever they’d start talking about their classes. Lucy had slowly become a permanent fixture in their small family, and since she’d moved in with them, she’d started begging James to let them get a dog. He was strong for about three days, and then, much to the boys happiness, he consented to ‘just look’ at a few dogs at the shelter and local rescues.

In the end, Lucy had to put her foot down, telling James that they could only have one dog because four people and one dog was already going to be too much for their small apartment.

They ended up with a little black and white pitbull puppy that Rich and Jake had immediately stolen and kept in their room with them. Jake took the puppy on runs with him, glad that he was finally starting to feel more normal when it came to physical activity. The little dog had adopted the two boys just as quickly, leaving James to beg lucy for another puppy. She said not until they moved into a house. James had frowned and then had started looking at houses on the sly.

~~~

Jake was pacing back and forth across the living room, tugging at his hair anxiously while James and Lucy sat on the couch and looked at him with twin looks of amusement. The puppy was trailing after him uncertainly.

“Guys this is serious, our two year anniversary is coming up and I need to do something seriously amazing for him I can’t have a repeat of last year.” He bangs his head against the wall in frustration, trying in vain to come up with something he considered worthwhile. The puppy barked unhappily and Jake drops his hand to pet him on the head without thinking about it.

“I already told you what to do.” James shrugs and Lucy slaps him on the shoulder lightly.

“James we’ve been over this. Helpful suggestions only. And telling Jake to ‘fucking grow a pair and introduce Rich to his parents’ isn’t helpful.” The look she turns on James makes him look chagrined. “Jake, what about this, are you sure you love Rich?” Jake gives her an incredulous look and she laughs. “Just checking. What about proposing?”

Jake freezes from where he had been pacing and the puppy smacks into the back of his legs. The thought had crossed his mind a dozen times already, but he wasn’t sure that Rich was ready. He turns to look at James. “You talk to him a lot, would he say yes?”

James grins at him in a way that isn’t exactly reassuring. Lucy slaps her hand over his mouth before he can say anything. “Of course he would. He loves you.” She stands and kisses James quickly. “We can go ring shopping together, that way if this idiot,” she hooks her thumb over her shoulder at James, “gets his act together he’ll know what to buy.” She winks and him and lets herself out.

~~~

Rich was pacing around Chloe and Brooke’s apartment while they occupied the beanbag chair in front of the TV. “Guys what should I do for Jake for our anniversary?” He’s completely distraught, trying to come up with something. The thought of proposing kept crossing his mind but he brushed it away, not sure that Jake was ready to take that step yet. They hadn’t ever really talked about it, they were only freshmen in college after all.

“Stop.” Chloe commands after he had been pacing their apartment for close to three hours. “Get your keys and your coat. We’re going to buy a ring so you can stop bugging me and Brooke, and we can get back to our lives. Send me a video of the proposal, and as touching as it was that you came to us for advice, please never do it again.” She shoves him out the door, just wanting some down time with her girlfriend between classes.

~~~

Rich and Jake were out to dinner for their anniversary, both of them had small ring boxes tucked into their pants pockets. When Jake had called and told Chloe his plan she had started laughing, which only served to feed his anxiety.

Both boys were growing more anxious by the moment and neither one could eat the food they’d ordered. They reluctantly packed it up into to-go boxes, both of them planning to propose on the walk they had planned after dinner. The waiter had looked at them curiously when their plates remained virtually untouched but they brushed it off and went about their night, stopping at the car to leave the food before strolling down the street hand in hand.

As they started nearing the park--and the spot both boys had planned on proposing--Jake started to fidget. He was giving himself an internal pep-talk, convincing himself that there was some remote chance that Rich would say yes.

This was it. They stopped and turned to each other, and simultaneously dropping to one knee. Rich was crying as he cupped Jake’s face in his hands. “Are you going to do what I think you’re going to do?” He asks, smiling through his tears.

Jake wipes the tears off of Rich’s face and nods. He pulls the box out and when Rich starts to say something he shushes him. “No, let me s-say this. I’ve been planning it for weeks.” He takes a deep breath and grins down at Rich. Now or never. “Richard Goranski, I love you with my entire soul. Before I met you, I didn’t believe that soulmates existed. But then your beautiful face stumbled into my world and I was a gonner. The way you stuttered, your lisp, how smart you are. But, I was too nervous to say anything, and I’m sorry it took me three years and a near death experience to make me tell you, but I’m glad I did. You’ve saved my life, so many times, just by being you.

“You’re my best friend and the love of my life. These last two years have been the best two years of my life. You’re crazy supportive and protective and make sure that I know I could do anything I set my mind to. Well, this is what I’ve set my mind to, so, will you, Richard Goranksi, do me the honor of becoming my husband--er well, fiance?” He’s blushing darkly and they’re both crying as Rich throws himself into Jake’s arms and kisses him soundly.

“Obviously I’ll marry you,” he’s grinning widely as Jake slips the ring he picked out onto Rich’s finger. “Now, it’s my turn, although, how I’m going to follow that...” Rich clears his throat roughly before grabbing Jake’s hands. “You’re literally my lifesaver, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it. I used to watch fairy tales and wish for a prince like the ones in the story to swoop in and save me. Well, after I met you, I didn’t have to wish anymore. You’re my prince, my knight in shining armor, my best friend, my soulmate, and so much more. You saved me when I needed it most, you came after me, even though you had to scoot yourself down the stairs on your ass,” he chuckles shakily, “You stayed with me in the hospital, you put up with my crazy brother and his girlfriend, you put up with my snoring and you buy me allergy pills when you know I’ve forgotten.

“I could not ask for a more perfect man because he does not exist. You are the epitome of everything I’ve ever dreamed up in my head. I promise, that if you give me the chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you just how much you mean to me. Marry me?” He’s holding the box now and Jake’s crying, nodding through his tears as he grips Rich’s arm tightly.

They kneel there for a long while, leaning on each other heavily, trading kisses and sweet words. As they’re standing up Jake laughs, “I can’t believe we separately planned to propose at the same spot at the same time.” He wraps his arm around Rich’s shoulders, not wanting to let his fiance go just yet. Rich seems completely on board with this as he wraps his arm around Jake’s middle.

Jake laughs to himself and grins down at Rich, “I can’t believe I thought you would say no.”

“Why would I have said no?” Rich’s eyebrows are furrowed as he looked down at the ring on his finger.

“Because we’re too young, or you got tired of me and my issues, I don’t know.” He looks away, not wanting the embarrassment to show on his face.

“People marry their high school sweethearts all the time, and I could never get tired of your issues, they’re a part of you, and I love you.” Rich speeds up and blocks Jake’s path, forcing him to stop. “You know that, right?”

Jake fidgets for a few seconds, “yeah, logically I know that, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking it sometimes.”

Rich hugs him tightly, “whenever you start thinking like that come and find me. No matter what I’m doing or where I am, I will always tell you that I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rich and Jake's dog is based loosely off of this dog (his name was panda and he was on season 4(?) of pitbulls and paroles)  
> PLEASE COME SCREAM AT ME ON TUMBLR I BEG OF YOU

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos, I live for that shit it makes my day  
> if you wanna come scream at me/with me on tumblr its jasnahkholin!  
> I should update everyday but I'll let you guys know if something changes


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